I haven't written on Max's blog for a long time. That's because most of the time I cannot think of anything to say. But I recently received an email from my friend Antonia in Australia and she sent me this photo which I'd not seen before. It makes me smile to see or hear new things about Max. This is what she wrote with the picture:
"ive got a pic for you i wanted to put it on maxs page but i didnt know what to write i didnt want to seem like an idiot that knew max from the begining. It was when i went to school with you that week i still slightly remember it. I miss him it makes me sad just writing this!! But he is loved everyday by sooo many people. He is beautiful so hopefully you can put the pic on the site from me!!"
I like this photo because usually Max is the one kissing people in photos, whereas this time he's the one being kissed and his expression is kind of ambiguous. As well as getting Antonia's photo, I had a dream about Max on Tuesday night:
He was there, in a shopping centre, or some indoor, brightly lit, large place. I ran down an escalator to meet him.
He looked younger than he last was. His hair was short, how he used to have it in school, and he was wearing that big black felt coat he had. He was with a friend, a shorter guy, I don't know who.
He asked me how I was - "ok, you know, this and that" - I told him some stuff.
I hugged him and he squeezed me so tightly. I opened my eyes and could just peep over his shoulder and there was someone there, watching, so I closed my eyes again and immersed myself in Max.
I told him I love him so so much and he said I love you too.
And he was all cheerful but I was incredibly sad because I knew that he was going to be dead but I didn't want to show it. I didn't want him to know that I was sad, I just wanted to enjoy being with him.
Then he made a joke about stillettoes and I pointed out that I don't wear stillettoes.
And soon I woke up and I was even more sad because he was gone again, like I knew he would be.
