For Max... x

From Charlotte

There was always something so special about Max. His smile could light up a room, and if he was out, you knew that the night would be full of adventure with always something to talk about the next day. I can't actually remember the first time I met Max but I do remember endless lunch times sitting in my year room with Holly and the girls watching the boys play football in the back cage. It was Owen who I first became friends with out of the 'Queens Park Boys'. I was in year 8 and in the school production of the 'Wiz' with him and Rosie. I think it must have been around that time that I was first introduced to Max, the handsome, playful, crazy member of the group who could charm you in a second and always took a minute to see how you were doing.

That was the thing about Max, it felt like there was nothing fake about him, he had time for everyone and everyone loved him for it. I remember walking home from school with him one day after the masses had dispersed form the school gates. (I must have been about 14 so he would have been 16) I felt so totally comfortable talking to him about all my (at that point ) incredibly important and top secret love life issues which back then I obviously would never have dreamed of talking about with a boy, but even then there was just something so honest and true about Max that made you immediately open up and trust him. I remember wishing that I had lived further away form school so we could have talked for longer, I just couldn't get over how friendly and incredibly 'cool' he was.

The thought of Queens park without Max seems so far out of reach. Just thinking of the park, the Irish centre or the Montrose immediately makes you think of Max and the boys, of summer days watching them all play football, of being so nervous to drink in the pub with them when I was so obviously under age, of feeling so excited each time I came into the area and knowing that whatever happened, as long as we were with the 'Queens Park Boys', we would all be having fun. But above all, remembering how privileged I felt to be able to hang out with such an exceptionally special and true group of people. Max was at the centre of it all, making you feel at ease and included, Max always made you feel like he wanted you to be there and to be having as much fun as he was. of course, he succeeded every time.

After the boys went travelling and then on to university I saw a lot less of Max, but even when he wasn't there you always knew that come Christmas eve or new years, him and the boys would be back, ready to party and bringing the Hampstead crew together again. I think that this Christmas in particular made me realise how lucky I was to be apart of such an amazing and secure group of friends back home. Max organised the new years celebrations and in true Max style brought everyone together for a perfect evening.

Thinking back to it now though it just makes you realise how blissfully naive we all were, it never seemed imaginable that this could happen to someone who was as widely admired and loved as Max was. Its like a new door has been opened and on the other side nothing feels quite the same. I can't imagine how hard the last month must have been for those lucky enough to have been fully a part of Max's life, his qualities were those that many of us could only ever aspire to or wish for in a friend. It hurt so much not being able to attend the funeral and be there with the people who knew Max and feel how huge this loss is, but in a way I don't ever want to say goodbye to max, instead I want to remember him exactly the way he was when I last saw him; giving a huge hug, a cheeky smile, with endless warmth and energy.

My thoughts are with everyone who had the privilege of knowing Max, he was never just a name or someone who people vaguely knew but instead he always took the time to become a friend and I'm just so thankful for each of the happy memories he's given me. He was a true legend and I will never forget him.

Missing you always Max.

All My Love,

Charlotte x x x

Words from Rosy's flatmate Cat

The following words were given to me by my flatmate Cat. I don't know who wrote them originally.

You can shed tears that he is gone
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he's gone
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Photos from the funeral

Steve Warshal took some pictures at the funeral and at Astons.

Has anyone got any pictures of the procession around the park?

Waterfall man

Here is MaxieBoy perched on the edge of a waterfall in Laos. It's called the Kwang-Si waterfalls, and was in a national park in Luang Prabang, near the north. It was SICK!! It had loads of tiers, all going down from the top and the water was this kind of disney blue that you can see. It was proper unbelievable and Max LOVED it. It is here that Max made O jump first from this huge mythical jump that they managed to find while me, Louis, Dash, Rosie, Elleanor and Anna, chilled at a small clearing. We had been travelling for nearly two months and all felt like we knew the ways of the world and what was going on (it happens to most first time travellers i think...it's called poncey-traveller-know-it-all-syndrome) but Max turned into the little kid who got so excited about football, computer games, sweeties and now waterfalls. He had found these waterfalls and couldn't get over how beautiful and peacefull they were. So happy and content this picture suits him perfectly, and just in the same way he was always the last to leave the park/football pitch ("just one last touch, one more") he was also the last to leave this place.

From Lesley Ferris in Columbus Ohio

Thinking about Max…..

My family moved from Queens Park in August of 1990. One of the things we knew we would miss the most was our friends in Queens Park. On numerous occasions when we made short visits to London we stayed in Queens Park with the O’Connell’s who always welcomed us. Max’s warm, quizzical, trickster presence was such a part of our time in London—and will always be so.

He retained that wonderful smile he had as a young child, which spoke of secret knowing: a smile that was crooked and upturned at the same time. Once he went to Newcastle, he entertained us with stories of the students there. He did a certain accent of the moneyed class that had us all in stitches laughing.

One of my fondest memories, however, was one of our theatre trips. Seamus organized a trip to the Drill Hall to see an alternative opera based on the legend of Gilgamesh. Rachel and Amie must have been away to university, because Max and Phoebe went with the two sets of parents. I remember clearly that Phoebe and Max sat behind us against a wall in the theatre space. They were both young teens and still at an age when they would go along with the parents.

Seamus had an enthusiasm in attending alternative opera and we were all up for joining in. Very shortly after the performance began, the actors appeared completely naked prancing across the floor like horses. There were perhaps 10 of them. It seemed to be out of the blue and in many ways did not make sense in terms of the production—but all I could think of was that Max and Phoebe were sitting together behind us watching which must have been for them a most embarrassing moment: with parents and a large group of naked actors in very close proximity as the space was intimate. Sitting out in the theatre lobby at the interval I remember all of us laughing at the absurdity of it all.

Max

I knew Max for many years and in varying degrees. When we were really young, we played together and whilst I've always been rubbish at football but I could whip his arse on the NES! Even though our houses are practically opposite one another's, we lost touch as we went off to different schools and I didn't see him for ages. As "grown ups", we knew each other and were matey, but he was a closer friend to my sister.

The turnout at Astons was showed just how much impact Max had upon the area and its people. The range of people was great, and the vibe was too. It's a true testament to his character and spirit that the wake was the buzzing laugh he would have wanted, rather than doom and gloom.

I can see now that he was equally pivotal to people's lives in Newcastle and Spain, but I'm only really qualified to talk about Queens Park.

The area is a funny place; it gave us a unique childhood which I think most young people can testify to and an affinity within itself which I can't imagine anywhere else in London. There's that persistent, comforting magnetism that pulls s back year after year; park summers, Corrib Christmases and shit New Years at The Long Room. Something in the water which seemed to have all of our parents giving birth between 1980 and 1985, with everyone and their siblings destined to be mates. Us private school lot dumping our poncey mates to hang out with our primary school peeps again…

It's our little idyllic village hidden away in the metropolis – and with the park right at its spiritual heart – only it was Max there with a football instead of cricket on the village green.

The park was clearly Max's stomping ground and nowhere could be more fitting for a tribute to him. Be it birds, beers, blazing or footy, just as he was the epicentre of so many people's lives and friendships, the park provided the backdrop every time.

He was instrumental to the lifeblood of the area and although missed, I can't see how he'd ever be forgotten… as I for one look forward to one day cotching on the Max bench!

Peace,
Cayal (Mathura) xxx

PS My sister Maya is also devastated to have missed Saturday and to not be able to be with her friends during this time. Cayal

An Ethos for us all

LIVE LIFE TO THE MAX.

Max

hello

my name is James i go out with Ellie from Hampsted school

even though i hadn't known him that long he really compared to a lot of his friends

i felt i should share one of his many acts of kindest he showed to me

he is someone i will never forget.

I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you and your famerly

James

------------------------------------------Blog------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I first met Max in the William pub when i first started going out with Ellie about 2 and bit years ago,

I could never quite believe how big the circle of friends was,

and had been to a few parties and nights out meeting an intirely different set of Friends each time,

i was a bit intimidated when i discovered a new lot to meet.

Max spoke to me stright anyway and we had a great laugh until closing, i don't think i spoke to Ellie the whole night.

from then on he was one of those people you loved

always smiling always laughing

and when i think of Max that is all i can see

I just wish i had known him longer

but that was what Max was all about

after five minutes in his presence you felt you known him all your life

He truly was a beautiful person in every way

and i am so glad i got the chance to know him

James

From Holly

Despite having fancied Max from afar since school when me and my friends used to watch all the older boys play football in the back cage, I can only say I've known him for the past few months. It's strange because it feels so much longer.

The first time I saw Max when he came back from Spain for Christmas I was at a party with my girlfriends. Max, Louis and Owen all bowled in after having been out at some club. Everyone was in a wicked mood and despite not knowing most of the people there we somehow managed to make the party all about us lot, bombarding the house with our Hampstead cockiness and causing havoc. The house had a huge collection of novelty teapots and I remember Max hurtling down the stairs and being amazed that nothing smashed. It was so much fun just being silly with Max, running around causing mischief but getting away with it because of his cheeky grin that made everyone instantly forgive him. I remember him running into the living room at one point and shouting that everyone hated him because he had pulled a girl that, unbeknown to him, he shouldn't have, then laughing and starting a play fight instead. That ended in him rugby tackling me onto a sofa, smacking my head on it and then feeling terrible about it for the rest of the holidays. I wasn't angry though, and we just ended up play fighting again later in the kitchen, knocking over empty wine bottles as he effortlessly put me on the floor squirming. We were the last ones at that party, as tended to be the way when you spent a night with Max. I remember him telling us that we were wicked girls and we all needed to go out together more often. I'm so happy that we actually made the effort to do that this Christmas, there seeming to be a party every few days giving us all an excuse to meet up and make memories that are now so valuable.

New Year's stands out, a night of pure madness with Max right at the centre of it, bouncing between friends and sweating it up to drum and bass in the basement of 333. We wouldn't have even been there if it hadn't have been for Max's powers of persuasion and his campaign to get everyone possible to come to Hoxton Apocalypse to see 2006 begin together. The night was like a rollercoaster ride of different bars, parties, houses, cabs. And everyone was so happy to be together, spending time with good people who appreciate each other. I'm so glad that everyone appreciated Max while he was here, I don't think a single person could not be charmed by him. By the end of the night we had ended up at Dash's house and whilst I was spinning out due to the night's excesses, Max was still going, up for it, sipping his champagne, calling Isaac in America, rushing around the kitchen until Murphy jumped up on him and left paw prints all over his new stripy jumper. Everyone else was shattered, trying to hold it together and not doing very well. Max was ready for more. It really doesn't feel right that there isn't going to be so much more of Max.

I can't believe he's not going to be coming back this Easter. So much everyone thought was possible has now been cut so short. It's so hard to understand. I don't want to believe that I won't see his grin or his curly head of hair coming towards me ever again. That's just too much. Max wrote 'hay que seguir tranquilo y veremos lo que pasa' in a recent email - 'we must remain calm and see what happens'. He said it didn't make any sense, probably so I wouldn't bother to translate it, but I think it makes perfect sense and am now trying to take his words on board to deal with all this. I suppose that's one of the most frustrating things: he is the only person I have really wanted to speak to throughout the last month.

I'm so thankful for the stolen moments I had with Max, for the way he made me feel, and for his honesty. As so many people have said, although he was always centre-stage at big nights out, there was definitely a much softer side to be seen. You could see him get lost in his head, anxious and vulnerable. When I asked him where he went he smiled and came back, asking me how I could see what he was thinking. I couldn't see what he was thinking but I could see his uncertainty. He said that what he liked about me is that I know what I want. Now I can't have what I want I don't feel like I know anything at all. His honesty is not something that you find often. It is not something I will be able to get over losing.

Thank you to the whole Queen's Park community that has expanded so much over the last month to embrace everyone who loved Max. The support has been amazing and will continue to keep everyone going, I'm sure. And thank you to Max for being an absolute gem, beautiful and lovely and so alive that I can still see you and hear you and feel you when I close my eyes.

Un beso grandissimo para ti! Mwah! Holly xxx

Max

I met Max I think it was about in year 9 at Hampstead school, he was one of ‘the boys in the year above’ along with Louis, Izacc, Owen etc, and all the girls had something charming to say about him. We always wished that the guys in our year would be more like Max, he always had a smile, a moment to talk and to listen.

As the years went on and we all got older, I was lucky enough to get to know Max a bit better and the smiles that he had never seemed to run out. He would smile and you would smile.

I remember one of the first times I went out in Queens Park with the gang, I was nervous because I wasn’t sure if I would be accepted into their ‘family’ - and that’s what it was and still is - I have always admired the love that Max and his friends have for one another - so close, and so lovely. Anyways, when I got to the Irish, Max was the first to make me feel welcome and introduced me properly to Anna, Rosy, Ellie and the rest and I will never forget that. Nor the summer days in Queens Park with Katie watching the boys play football, nor the house parties where Max would be the most lively for sure - always checking you were having a good time. A greeting always beginning with ‘Yes Esmay’ (or whoever he was talking to!) made you instantly feel positive and welcome.

My thoughts are with all of his close friends and his family who knew him so so well, I would have liked to get to know Max better but I am grateful that I knew him as I did, we can all learn from his friendliness and it will not be forgotten.

The last time I saw Max was in the good ol Black Lion in West Hampstead on Christmas eve, where he seemed happy and content, he was enjoying uni and life. A text on Christmas day, where he said he was stuffed and feelin nicely merry ended with ‘hope to c u soon.’ It saddens me to think that this never happened, but I am sure that where ever he is, he is still lighting up a room with his persona, having good ol chats and keeping the party going.

With love,
Esmay xxxxxx

From Laomie

Hi, my name is Laomie Walker.

I think I've known Max for as long as I can remember back. We were never close friends but knew eachother for ages from Salusbury school and Queens Park. Both my parents, me and my brother all remember Max as 'the nicest guy in Queens Park.' Such a cool, laid back and friendly guy. I just feel so so so sad for his lovely parents, Victoria and Seamus, and of course his crew- Owen, Louie, Ize and Dash. Max will be missed by everyone that ever knew him because he genuinely touched people with his upbeat, funny and stoned character.

Max, we will always remember you.

Laomie and Family.x

The Max Blogspot

I have been reading some of the moving tributes to Max over the last week onthe blogspot. Only remembering him as a playful and exuberant child it hasfilled in the gaps over the last 15 years or so. It's impressive the manyfriends he had and that he lived life to the full. As a long time Spurssupporter I felt a real connection seeing the picture of him in his Spursshirt and an identical shirt is hanging in my room here with Klinsmann 33 onthe back. An important evening game v West Brom is being played on Mondaynight at White Hart Lane and it will good to remember him then as a fellowSpur and from what I've read on the blog a lover of "the beautiful game".My thoughts are with you all for tomorrow.

Chris Morphet

From PeD in San Francisco

Back in the day, one of my favourite things to do on a first or second date, was to bring my latest future-ex-girlfriend to Queen's Park. At the time, I used it as a cunning ploy, or so I thought, to impress my unsuspecting bird with my sense of community, my love for football and my love for the outdoors. "We usually play here but in the summer they make us play behind the Band Stand". I'd reminisce about great football matches we'd had and point to the spot where they took place. More often than not, we'd bump into someone I knew and they'd take a break from the football to have a chat. Max met his share and would wonder, weeks later, why I’d dumped them so suddenly.

Anyway… I, too, remember the first time I met Max. Not surprisingly, it was in a football match in the south end of the park (I can point to the exact spot), in late Spring. Years later, over a pint at the Irish, when the subject came up over how long we'd all known each other, Max recited the first words I ever said to him. When we met, he had a habit of taking on half the opposing team only to lose the ball right at the end. My words were: "If you pass the ball, I'll pass it back and you'll score every time". He said that this jewel of advice had stuck with him over the years though, thankfully, for those of us who like to watch football wizardry, Max had many moments of forgetfulness.

Max's passing has made me think about more than a few things. Above all, that Max was the quintessential Queen's Parker. For years, a generation of die hard football fans were blind to issues that would otherwise have formed even the smallest of barriers (race, class, football teams, gender [remember Rachel Yankee?], football skills ..) because we just wanted to play together. Max seemed to live his entire life finding common ground rather than seeing differences. The huge turnout in this blog reflects this and I believe many of us will have looked in envy at that beautiful virtue.

What kind of person would I be had my house been 2 miles away? I daren't think about it.

Finally, I would like to thank all our parents, who, whether by sheer luck, or never-ending love and commitment (though probably a bit of both), have forged a community of good-natured, grounded individuals. We are truly fortunate and honoured. (Steve W. thanks for your words!)

Thank you so much. And thank you for Max. And thank you for so many other people that I can't list for fear of missing someone out.

I can't put to words how it burns that I can't make it tomorrow. My thoughts will be with all of you.

If you don't mind, I've attached an abridged version of a recent hurried email (minus expletives) to Dec.

Love you Max, you're in all of us.

Pedro.

+++++++++++++

A few years ago (yikes at least 4-5 years ago, before he went up north) Max gave me a buzz to go to the Corrib for a drink. Back then we would hang out every now and then to catch up on things so it wasn’t unusual that we’d meet up.There was some drama going on at home with his sister and his folks so we were chatting about it over a couple of pints & stuff. We also spoke about how things were with his girlfriend (Rosy) and how they were going to put things on the backburner because they were going to be apart, but that they really liked each other. Just life stuff, right? But it was amazing how mature he was under those circumstances.

Anyway, so we had a couple of pints and as I was about to get up to get the next round he stopped me and said “Ped. I know. And it’s cool.” Of course, I let out a nervous laugh wondering what the **** I was going to say to that. I felt a mixture of embarrassment (that I didn’t have the guts that he did) and surprise but not nerves. I almost said “what you on about?” but knew (and so would he) that I’d only be insulting his intelligence. Besides, he’d just stuck his neck out for me. All I said was something like “I better get those pints then”. I got the pints and he told me how I shouldn’t be worried about telling people in the park etc.

I dunno why I’m telling you this. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really told anyone about it even though it was a really important moment for me. Or perhaps it was because it was a moment that made me realize that our connections now transcend much more than just football @ the park. I mean, that’s why we still talk right?

Max didn’t have to say anything, and we really don’t have to make an effort to hang out & catch up. But we do.

So for the record, if you ever need anything, say.

PeD

+++++++++++++

From Isabel May

Dear Victoria, Seamus and Rachel

I have been reading this site everyday now since Alex told me it was up and running. What it makes me realise is that that Max a warm, caring, generous, funny, charming man - as he was when I knew him best as a little (and sometimes really annoying!) boy and a good friend of my younger brother Alex.

I am sorry that I did not come to know Max as a grown up but I am glad that I knew him at all.

The overriding memory I have is of him and Alex trying to crush Rachel and I in this sofa we had at our home in Brooksville Avenue that was designed a bit like a sandwich. It would always start out as a bit of an older sister/younger brother battle and within 5 minutes descend into a disaster with everyone screaming and then all would go back to normal – Rachel and I drawing something and Alex and Max setting up epic battles or racing tracks in Alex’s bedroom.

Max was a major part of my childhood memories of Queens Park, of the boys and their football teams, the crazy golf course, the Saturday afternoons spent at Rachel’s and those memories would not be the same without him.

I am so, so sorry that this has happened and I am thinking of you all.

Isabel x

Emotivo homenaje a Max O`Connell

09/03/2006

La Facultad de Filosofía y Letras, lugar en el que estudiaba, fue el escenario en el que se desarrolló ayer un sentido, sencillo y emotivo homenaje al estudiante británico del programa Erasmus-Sócrates, Max O`Connell, procedente de la Universidad de Newcastle Upon Tyne, fallecido la pasada semana en un trágico accidente.

Más de 200 personas, la mayoría de ellos compañeros de Max O`Connell participaron en un acto, en el que además de autoridades académicas encabezadas por el Vicerrector de Alumnos, David Almorza Gomar, la Directora de la Oficina de Relaciones Internacionales, Laura Howard y el Decano de la Facultad de Filosofía y Letras, Manuel Arcila Garrido, se encontraban también los padres y la hermana del finado.

El Decano de la Facultad, en su alocución inicial manifestó el dolor de todo el centro y de la Universidad de Cádiz en pleno, por este fallecimiento, un estudiante de la Facultad a todos los efectos y miembro de la Comunidad Universitaria de la UCA. Compañeros y profesores de Max, hicieron una semblanza de su persona. Entre ellos, su amiga y compañera Jo Kiely, quien muy emocionada relató a los presentes los grandes valores que poseía. Su buen talante, su disposición siempre a la ayuda del compañero, su amabilidad, su interés en aprender y perfeccionarse. Pidió en esta intervención que se le recordara lleno de vida, con el espíritu positivo que lo caracterizo, jugando al fútbol, o en las fiestas y alegre como él era.

Igualmente, intervino el padre del estudiante fallecido, Seamus O´Connell que se encontraba acompañado de su esposa, Victoria y de la hermana de Max, Rachel. En nombre de la familia y muy emocionado manifestó que de igual manera que se encuentran llenos de dolor, “nos sentimos muy confortados por el apoyo y las muestras de cariño que recibimos por parte de quienes han sido compañeros de nuestro hijo. Sabemos que nuestro hijo vivirá también en la memoria de todos vosotros que le habéis tratado en esta etapa de vida en Cádiz, donde el ha sido feliz”.

Una salva de aplausos de todos los presentes, puso fin a este sencillo acto de homenaje a la memoria de Max O`Connell.

http://www.uca.es/web/internacional/noticias/nt_2006_03_09_01

Translation:

Emotional tribute to Max O’Connell

The Faculty of Philosophy and Letters, where he studied, was the site of a heartfelt, simple and emotional tribute to a British student enrolled in the Erasmus-Socrates program, visiting us from the University of Newcastle upon Tyne, who died last week in a tragic accident.

More than 200 persons, many of them classmates of Max O’Connell, participated in a ceremony at which many faculty members, led by Vice Rector of Students David Almorza Gomar, the Director of the Office of International Relations Laura Howard, and the Dean of the Faculty of Philosophy and Letters Manuel Arcila Garrido, were joined by the deceased’s parents and his sister.

The Dean of Faculty, in his opening remarks, expressed the sadness felt by all at the Universidad de Cádiz for the loss of one who was considered one of the University’s own students and who had become a member of the community at UCA. Max’s classmates and professors spoke about his character. Among them was his friend and classmate Jo Kiely, who in an emotional tenor related to everyone the greatness he possessed in character. His cheerful manner, always disposed to help his classmates, his amicability, his interest in learning and improving. She asked at this gathering that he be remembered as one who was full of life, with a positive spirit that was such a part of his character, playing football or at parties and happy, as was his nature.

Likewise spoke the deceased students’ father, Seamus O’Connell, accompanied by his wife Victoria, and Max’s sister Rachel. On behalf of the family, he expressed that despite the pain the family feels at their loss, “We feel very comforted by the support and the expressions of kindness we’ve received on the part of those who knew our son. We know that our son will also live in the memory of all of you who have known him during his time in Cádiz, where he was happy to be.”

An emotional round of applause from all those present brought to a close this tribute to the memory of Max O’Connell.

Me encantaba su sonrisa.

Me llamo Teresa Candón y fui profesora de español de Max en Cádiz. Como todos los que escribís aquí, siento mucho su pérdida. Max era tan simpático y atento... Guardo un grato recuerdo de él. Acabo de ver las fotos que habéis puesto en la página web. He necesitado algún tiempo para verlas, porque soy muy sentimental y con nada lloro.

Me encantaba su sonrisa. Era de esas sonrisas que se te quedan grabadas en la mente. Por las fotos que habéis puesto se nota que era un chico alegre y cariñoso. Y que tenía un millón de amigos.

Recuerdo que en clase siempre estaba atento y si yo preguntaba algo a todo el grupo y nadie respondía, él levantaba la mano y respondía a mi pregunta para que no me sintiera incómoda. Los profesores agradecemos que haya alumnos así, que te escuchen y te respondan, porque nos hacen sentir que lo que explicamos les interesa. Era muy buen alumno.

Max era muy educado y correcto, pero también divertido, gracioso; a veces te miraba con cara de pillín. Por eso sentimos su pérdida, porque no hay muchos como él. Siento no haber salido más y no haber compartido más momentos con él en las plazas y calles de la ciudad.

Quiero manifestar a su familia mi más sincero pésame y decirles que aquí en Cádiz sus profesores y amigos siempre recordaremos con cariño a Max, al chico con la sonrisa más bonita del mundo.

Un fuerte abrazo y besos para su familia y para todos sus amigos. Teresa.

P.D: I'm sorry, but I don't know how to write in english very well. Thank you for the translation!!

And apologies from Seamus for taking so long to put up this translation:

I loved his smile.

My name is Teresa Candón and I was Max’s Spanish teacher in Cadiz. I feel as sad as all who are writing here and feel your loss so much. Max was so funny and polite… I retain a pleasant memory of him. I just saw the photos you all posted on the web site. I needed a little bit of time to see them all, because I am a very emotional person.

I loved his smile. It was one of those smiles which remain imprinted on your mind. I can tell from the photos that he was a happy and sweet guy. And I can see that he had a million friends too.

I remember he was always attentive in the class. If I asked something to the group and nobody answered he used to put his hand up and answer the question, so as not to let me feel uncomfortable. Teachers are very grateful for pupils of this kind, who listen and answer you. They make us feel that what we are explaining is of interest to them. He was a great pupil.

Max was very polite but also funny and amusing; sometimes he looked at you with a cheeky face. That’s why we feel so sorry for this loss, because there are not many pupils like him. I feel sad because I didn’t go out with him more and I didn’t share more moments with him in the squares and streets of this city.

I would like to express to all his family my sincere condolences and tell them that here in Cadiz his teachers and friends will remember Max with love. We’ll remember the guy with the most beautiful smile in the world.

I send you a huge hug and kisses, for all his family and all his friends.

Teresa

Max memories - from Ruth Barton

I can't pinpoint the exact moment I met Max but it was around the beginning of my second year at uni. He was such a huge part of my life at uni that nearly every memory I have he is in their somewhere. Because of this it’s hard to condense everything that I could say into a few words.

I had a huge soft spot for Max. If we ever had a minor disagreement he would just have to flash me that dopey smile and all would be forgiven. I even went to watch him play football with Jo in the snow and I definitely wouldn't do that for just anybody. Max had a knack of making me smile, picking me up when I felt bad and generally just being a terrific friend. When you meet people at uni it is easy to tell which ones are going to be your lifelong friends. Max was one of these. I have never met anybody who meant so much to so many people and my thoughts are with his family and everybody who loved him. He had so many friends and this in itself pays tribute to the person Max was.

I love you Max. I know where ever you are you will be fine. I remember telling you on the phone just before you went away that there was no need to worry because you were the kind of person who could make friends without even trying. You meant so much to me and I wish I had taken the time to tell you that more often, but I just hope that you knew that you were special and always will be. Thanks for the cups of tea, the hugs and all the good times.

I miss you

all my love
Ruth (Rootbeer)

From Monica

I have only met Max a few times, although I had certainly heard a lot about him over the year, as he was my husbands cousin. William and I have two children and last time I was in England my daughter Anna was with me. She was 3 at the time. One of my fondest memories from that trip is of Anna and Max. Anna adored him, in no small part because he was so sweet and attentive to her the day we visited.

I was struck by Max's attention to Anna because clearly Max had a very busy social life. He was between visits, plans, phone calls and managing his many fans! But he sat with Anna for a long time and was unbelievably sweet to her. We spent a fair amount of time getting clear on their "relationship"...they were First Cousins Once Removed. Max found this facinating....and seemed genuinely pleased to have this little person as his relation.

William is on his way to England now to be with his family and we here wish we could be there too. James, Anna and I all send our love. There are no words sufficient to say how very sorry we are for your loss. I can think of few things more painful than losing someone so young and full of life. As I have often said to William, "Max is a sweetie"...he really was. He will be missed.

With much love,
Monica

Missing pieces - Jan Peknik Kozak

Jan emailed this verse to me. He went to Hampstead School, and so has known Max a long time. He is now in Owen's band, IC.

If you click on the image it comes up on its own much less fuzzy.

Remembering Max

Remembering Max is like recalling Happiness. Like hearing a song you love in an unlikely place. You smile. He embodies what life is about, or should be about. His infectous warmth, humour, natural optimism, zest and unmistakable grin will never leave those that he touched and he touched many.

Lots of people have talked about the way Max played football, like the ball was magnetically attached to his feet and I think the carefree abandon with which he played epitomised what Max was all about; energy and enthusiasm. I remember being so infuriated with his skill that i was reduced to trying to trip him up. But I could never bloody catch him, all you could do was admire his grace and the way his bendy body seemed to defy physics. Wanting to attack as he grinned at you after making you look stupid, again.

Its hard to think about Queens Park life without the chap. There arn't many people that you can bump into in a bad mood, chat for ages, even if you havn't them them for a year and leave with a spring in your step. He had a certain magic that would cheer you up, as if he somehow knew something that no-one else did. I last him in January at a birthday party and we had our usual chat about Spurs (this time saying good things!), film and what was on the immediate horizon for the both of us. I seem to remember downing a particularly nasty tequila just because it was free. You were on good form, as always.

For who you are I thank you, for giving us what you did while you were hear I thank you. We are a community and you remain right at the centre of it and will always be at the centre of it. My thoughts are with all those that loved him.

We will never forget you.

Toby

Max

This is a contribution to the website from Katherine Morris, Ella Hamilton, Huw Bussell and Leah Conner. We all lived in the house behind Max's in second year and he was a brilliant friend to us all. We are truly sorry, and we're thinking of you all.

Ella Hamilton

I didn’t really get to know Max until the end of first year. I remember spotting him in castle leazes in freshers week and thinking- wow that guy looks like Justin Timberlake! (Which he did not appreciate when I told him!) At first I was quite intimidated by max as he had such a huge personality and knew absolutely EVERYONE! But the more I got to know him the more I realised that he was really a great big softy! In fact I think it was when we went shopping together that I realised just how sweet he was. I made him try on his mad max t-shirt and he was really unsure about it but he bought anyway- probably just to shut me up and keep me happy! I always felt he had time for me and that he really listened. He always, always made me smile when I saw him and he always had a big cuddle waiting for me. I think the thing ill miss the most about him is his cuddles. He was such a warm, gentle person and I absolutely adored him. I’m so pleased I managed to get to know him. He really is one of the best people I’ve ever met and he will be sorely missed.

Katherine xx

I got to know Max in my second year of Uni at Newcastle. We all lived on the street behind the legendary Devonshire Place, and could see the guys from our house, so I was a frequent visitor to number 25. There was always so much going on there, lots of people having a laugh, and Max was usually at the centre of it, entertaining everyone. He was so much fun, and he could also be so so sweet. He would always listen and everything he said was totally honest. He was always there to give you a hug, or even just a cheeky smile! Whenever Max was around, everyone was having a good time.

Everyone who knew Max will always remember him for his charm, sense of humour, amazing personality, and of course good looks! It's incomprehensible to think that he's gone, but I know that no one will ever forget him. I always thought i'd get to know him better as we got older, and I can't believe I wont get that chance. Max, we miss you!!

Ella xxx

What I will remember most about Max is his charming nature, generosity of spirit and his ability to always make you smile. I met Max in the first year at Newcastle and whenever I saw him we would always have a chat, a bit of banter and a cigarette. The thing with Max is he was always interested in what you had to say, just one of life's great guys. When I think about my university experience Max is one of those unforgettable characters that make uni so memorable. I was deeply saddened by the news and my sympathies go out to all his friends and family.

Huw

I had heard of Max before I met him and knew that he was popular. When i was introduced to him in the middle of first yr, i expected him to be confident. However, his confidence was never overpowering. I am shy when i meet people, but with max it was effortless. He was calm and genuinely interested in getting to know me and always had time to speak to everyone. He was an excellent conversationalist and an interesting and gifted young guy. I know he will be missed by many.

My deepest sympathy goes to his family and all of his many closest friends.

Leah

It was always a pleasure

By David Wilson

Max was the first person that I had met, from what was then the ‘first year’ of Hampstead School.

I was in the ‘third year’ and it must be about 13 years ago now.

Us Third years were playing a hell of a lot of football back then. Pretty much every day and night we would play in either the front and back cages of school, UCS Fields, Fortune Green, Aylstone and not forgetting Queens Park.

We considered ourselves to be pretty good.

I remember Max hanging around the front cage at school and watching us play. He was wearing a spurs shirt on the day he came up to me during a game and asked with a knowing grin if he could play.

He played from then on.

I remember thinking to myself that if this little cheeky eleven year old kept doing what he was doing, with our football, to the kids in my year and the years above who were also playing, he might start taking a few knocks here and there from some of the more bad tempered, less skilful and very frustrated older kids, and sure enough he did take quite a few knocks. But Max just kept on playing through all the hits that were thrown at him and by the end of that game he’d won over pretty much everyone on the pitch in that front cage. Not just because of his footballing talents but also because of his smiling attitude. The next time we all played people were arguing about whose team he should be on, a pattern, which would continue for years to come. I obviously tried to claim him as my discovery therefore having to play on my team from then on. I used the ‘we’re both Tottenham fans’ angle and it was from then on that we became friends.

Over the years I’ve only got happy memories when I think of ‘Max O’the day’ as he became known on the Queens Park circuit. Whether he was running around the park, sweating like mad and rolling around on the grass after a tackle with his arms in the air. Or, whether he’d be running around a party, sweating like mad and rolling around on someone’s sofa with his arms in the air, he would always seem to be having good time with a smile on his face which made him a person that always brought a smile to mine. I feel proud to have known such a happy, smart, talented, funny and witty person who enjoyed his life to the fullest. An example to us all. It was through Max, and over the years, that I got to know Owen, Ize, Louis, Dash, Rosie, Anna, Ellie and more. A truly lovely group of people. My Love and thoughts are with you all. I know how close you all were and how close you still are.

Max was the person who told me that Anna loved me before she did. ‘Dave man, seriously, I know, trust me’ were more or less his words. When I used to live at 115 Chevening Rd, Max would come over for a cup of herbal tea from time to time and we’d listen to music and discuss the trials and tribulations of being with Rosie and Anna and having girlfriends who are best friends (sorry girls, but we did). We spoke about how they must constantly talk about us, tell each other everything and know a lot more about us then they let on. After 4 or 5 times of doing this we realised the irony in what we were doing and thought it best to stick to spurs, music and party conversation. Little did we know at the time that we’d both be living in Spain in the coming years. I’d been speaking to Max briefly via email since Christmas trying to arrange either a break for us down in Cadiz/Tarifa with him, or up here in Barcelona where I live, and was looking forward to doing either one. I’ve also been receiving the odd random email in Max’s very excited best Spanglish that were usually sent well after midnight. Typical Max. I wish I’d kept them.

The last time I actually saw Max was before Christmas. We were both outside the Salisbury pub and both leaving to go back to Spain in the next couple of days. We had a pint and a nice conversation about life/football/Spain when all of a sudden max jumped up and said, ‘Shit, I’ve got to meet this girl in five minutes at Queens Park station. She’s so pretty and nice. She doesn’t know the area very well, but I’m not gonna bring her to the pub man, she’s too nice for that, really nice!’ We said our goodbyes, arranged to try and meet in Spain in the New Year at some point, and off he went. About half an hour passed when Max came strolling back down to the Salisbury, shivering from waiting in the cold weather for the last 30 minutes with a big smile on his face. He walked straight passed me to the bar got himself a pint came and sat down next to me and said with a big grin ‘she probably wouldn’t have been that nice anyway’ and just joined straight back into the conversation with a positive ‘so whats next?’ type of attitude. He had me in stitches.

From the small boy who I met at school all those years ago to the young man who always liked to remind me of how tall he’d become. From years of watching bewildered as to how he does what he does with a football and then denying you saw anything when asked later at the pub or at a party (unwritten Queens Park rules). From his silly jokes to witty comebacks. From the conversations we had about girlfriends to the conversations we had about music or just life in general. To loose someone of his calibre is as tragic as gets. A True loss.

He touched so many people’s lives and will continue to do so. Even though he will be sorely missed his memory will live on in all of us and our thoughts our with his family and closest friends.

Lots of love, Dave Wilson (one of the younger older lot)

To all who knew the great man!

I remember coming back from America last Summer and
the first phone call I got was from Max asking (not
that I could refuse and say no) if I wanted to play
football in the park. After being away from Queens
Park for a year cos of uni it was playing football
with Max, O, Dash, Louis, Ize, Theo, Nick and Frank
etc that really made me feel like I was at home again.
I remember calling round his house and him offering
me astro turfs or boots or trainers to wear to
play-the selection was unreal. Max was buzzing; he
couldn't wait to play football and he was listening to
some Spanish hip-hop and telling me how much he
couldn't wait to go out there to live.
I have many memories of Max but this one is the one
I cherish the most because I could see that he was so
happy and had matured into a great man. Max will
always be in my thoughts and even though I wasn't as
close to him as alot of other people the impact he had
on me was substantial. Playing football with him for
years allowed me to get to know him, and the time
spent chilling pre and post footie was where I could
see Max as others saw him. Always interested in what
you had to say he would never get bored of listening.
To all those who knew him my sincerest condolences. I
will never forget you Max and your kindness and love
will live on. Rest in peace mate. Declan

From Zak

I remember hearing max before i first saw him- henderson hall trials in the 1st few weeks of my uni- he was babbling on over-excited on the sideline (obviously itching to play), trying to scout talent for the next years play- lets be honest he could have chosen 10 other chumps and he would have won the league by himself anyway- but it was his london accent and mop of hair that I first noticed- the way he walked I honestly thought he couldn't play football- he was looked so gangly- how wrong can you be. He was someone you liked instantly, because he had this way about him that relaxed people instantly- it was almost like he brought out the best in people, every1 was the person they wanted to be round him- you could have told the worst joke and you know that boy would have smiled- might have told you it was poor but would have laughed no doubt- his foot was like superglue. I remember when we went paint balling at the end of the year and max breezes out of his house half hour late and hadn't been to sleep all night- the whole day i think he fired his gun twice- he jus found a trench deep enough and hid the whole match cos he didn't want to get shot- he was definitely a lover not a fighter- not that he wouldn't stand up for his friends- he seemed capable of resolving anything- i looked upto him so much- anyone who spoke about uni football knew max- he was synonymous with football, a real talent- alternating between a fag and an inhaler at half time- but he had the ability to create a spark on those shit wet pitches down at long benton. lots of love maxxy boy, i miss you very much, zak

So sorry for your loss

I have only a few memories of Max after we did our GCSE'S at school. We weren't that particularly close after GSCE's. But despite this all of my memories of him during school and the few times I bumped into him after school are all nice ones.

From all of these pleasant memories I can vividly remember that he always had time for a little chat and never got involved in the negative politics which people got in to at school. I also remember his amazing ski abilities from the school ski trip I went on.

I had only bumped in to max a few times since the end of GCSE's, but every time we did he was always willing to have a little chat, so we could talk about what was going on in our lives no matter how big or small.

The last time I bumped into Max was in the west end during the summer I think. We only had a brief chat but I really enjoyed it, and left thinking how far we had both come and what an interesting man he was. For me knowing that these random and interesting meetings won't happen again is very upsetting. I can not imagine what his family and close friend must be going threw by losing such a loveable character. But I do know that from our brief meetings and this internet site, I can tell he was the kind of person who had so much love to give to every one, which in turn has given him so much well dissevered love back.

From him leaving us so early I hope it makes people realize not to take their time here for granted. Do as Max did and take time out of busy schedules and give more time to people, no matter how well you know them or not, and also love, enjoy, and make the most of your life.

To his family, Rosie, his closet friends, and anyone who ever had the joy and gift of meeting him I am sorry for your tremendous loss.

Good night max

Tyler Williams - Green

Smiley Max

Hello my name is Remel Crichlow and I am Louis' nephew. I wrote this poem about Max.

Smiley Max was funny.
Smiley Max was everybodys' friend.
Smiley Max loved to eat food.
Smiley Max was always smiley even when he was sad.
Smiley Max will always be remembered for his smileyness.

Remel, Age 9

Max

I can't remember the first time I met Max; he was Rachel's little brother and one of my sister’s best friends. I remember him from school days, laughing and joking with a mischievous grin on his face. When I think of Max, I picture him bowling around Queens Park and drinking in the Irish with Emily, Anna, Rosy, Isaac, Owen, Louis and Dash. Sitting with a cheeky smile on his face and laughing with his friends over a pint. Just the way it should be.

Being a few years older, I was nearer Rachel's age than Max's and didn't know Max as well as I would have liked, but I’ve heard so many stories that included Max over the years and he made such an impression on me every time I saw him that I feel as though I knew Max better than I probably did.

I went to the same primary and secondary school as Max and remember him playing football in the park every summer with his friends. He was always a pleasure to bump into and full of charm every time I saw him. A cheeky chappy, full of energy and always up for a laugh.

I know he was there for Emily through some hard times and could always put a smile on her face. Like all the boys, they would walk the girl’s home after nights out and I remember thinking how lucky my sister was to have such a lovely group of friends.

Since hearing the sad news, I've been thinking about Max a lot. Just reading through everyone’s messages, it becomes clear how many lives Max touched.

Max had so many lovely qualities and a positive attitude towards life and people. He was genuine and open, with Max there were no barriers, he was just himself and treated everyone he knew the same. Not many people are like that in this world. We could all learn a lot from him.

I've grown up in Queens Park all my life and feel sad to think that I won't see Max around anymore and can’t even begin to imagine how his family and closest friends must be feeling. My heart goes out to his family, Rosy, his closest friends and to everyone who knew Max and will miss him. I wish I had known Max a little better, but am thankful for having known him at all.

Sarah Villegas

Everyone's best friend

My name is Zac Mendelsohn and I have known max since I was 11, so about 12 years.

I can't remember when we first met, but I know we met at Hampstead, probably in the playground getting nutmeged by him no doubt.This is no doubt the hardest thing I have ever had to write about because there ar so many good stories to tell. There weren't many bad times with max and I have been thinking over the past weeks of all the good times we had together, so i'll just write about a few that stick in my head.

I feel special and privileged that I got to spend the time I did with him. He had a knack of making you feel like you were special and always made an effort with you no matter what. I would always find it so amazing how he managed to connect with people, that on the surface of it all, he had nothing in common with.

I also remember a night where me and him went to Fabric, just me and him. There were some big DJ's playing that night and I was getting down to some Breaks DJ, proper enjoying myself and Max says to me "I'm just going for a little stroll". And I'm thinking, what do you mean "a little stroll", this is just warming up! Anyway, max just said, "you stay here, it's cool, i'll go on my own". So I let him get on with it and carried on with the music. When I had been dancing for about half an hour on my own with no return from Max, I decided to go and find him. When I finally did, I remember he was with some random Scottish guy and Max came up to me and said with immense enthusiasm, "this is jonny (or some Scottish name, not that jonny is Scottish), he came all the way from Scotland to come Fabric". I don't think I was quite on the same level as max at that point of the night and didn't quite share the same excitement as him with Mr. Jonny. Anyway, that was max for you. Always interested in new things and people, excited, intrigued and passionate about life. Never a dull day with Mr O'Connell.

Him going to Spain was the best thing to happen to our friendship I think. It made it special when ever he was back in town because I knew he would be flying off again soon. When he went off for the last time, we made sure this was a proper good bye and we spent some real quality time together. On one night, he came to my house and we got a Chinese. My brother started talking to him about what he was going to do after Uni and that he should be thinking about these things. That got Max really paranoid and he was saying to me "why's your brother talking about that shit to me man, it's got me well paranoid" I think it went something like that. Max used to have moments like that when the penny would drop as such. He would say something like "Shit, what have I done" about really petty things, like saying the wrong thing to a girl or something that seemed really petty. It always seemed really out of character because if the shoe was on the other foot, he would be telling you to shut up and stop worrying about such small things. Anyway, the next day he missed his flight, so we hooked up again. I remember the last conversation we had together in my car. I had to leave to get up for work the next day and max was getting a CD from my car. We started chatting and before I knew it is was about 12:30. When i was driving home, I remember feeling really good that we got to have one of those conversations and it had been a while since I had one with Max. Now I feel very lucky that I was given that time and every day with him will never be forgotten.

Max was a complexed character. He was always up for a laugh and good time, but he also had a sensitive and very open side to him that i'm sure allot people got to experience. He would always be one of the first people I would call if I had something I needed to get off my chest and he would always be there to listen, no matter what. There was always something he could say to make you feel a bit better. Always an experience he would have had that he would try and relate yours too, that made you feel like, maybe your not the only one who goes through the thoughts and feelings you were going through at that time.

I did allot of growing up with Max and will miss him to no end. He was a true friend.

I'll leave you with a really loving email he sent to me:

yes yes beeyatch, 2 things: u smell like off kippers, and u left ur richard prior dvd at my house. i left it next to my tv for u to pick up. go have a wash, laters

From Christopher Tuite

My name is Christopher Tuite and I went to Hampstead School with Max and played in the same North Paddington football team for many years. My memories are of a genuine and kind individual. He always treated people as he found them and never got involved in the adolescent politics that can sometimes make school so difficult. He was interested in everybody and never had a bad word to say about anybody.

He made break times a pleasure. His enthusiasm for football (we would play at every opportunity even if it was for a few seconds with bits of paper in the classroom) was only matched by his enthusiasm for life and for his friends. It was a pleasure to play in the same team as him. He was always a team player (despite his undoubted individual ability) and I will always remember him embarrassing many a full back and thanking my lucky stars he was playing for us! Like all of us who played at that time we were a tight knit group who would have run through a brick wall for each other and so to lose him in such circumstances hurts so much more.

It was a measure of the man and the esteem in which he was held how many people turned out to his memorial football match at Queens Park. I remember coming down there on many a day from West Hampstead, wondering if it was worth making the trip to play as the game may have fizzled out by the time we had walked down or bunked the train fare and the deciding factor was always knowing Max would be playing until night fell or he dropped from exhaustion.

In recent years the call of University and Careers had meant our paths had crossed less and less and I was restricted to seeing him and his crew at Christmas drinks or special events (birthdays etc) but I was always struck how much he hadn’t changed, how he retained his lust for life, his popularity and above all his warmth and his decency.

I am gutted we have lost him as he was just getting going and spreading his happiness further afield.

To his family, Rosie, Louis, Issac, Owen, Dash and all those who loved him I am truly truly sorry. I know my pain will never match yours but take solace in the fact that Max touched us all and my life was better because of it.

Rest in Peace Friend.

From Ames

I met Max at the very beginning of Uni- Fresher's Week (we all met in that week on separate occasions by some mad force of fate and friendship)- and knew from then that he would be a big part of my University life- his character (and his crazy curls) made a huge impression on us all. Seeing Max in 1st year was always a treat because i just didn't see him that often. Then along came 2nd year, and our house of madness. Part of the fun in Number 25 was the fact that we were all still getting to know each other at the beginning (the house parties helped us a lot) and as time went on and I got to know Max and eveyone else, the happier I was to be living there. I have lots of memories of times with Max- not least my on-going effort to get him to like house music. He eventually came along to Shindig, but could never be converted from his love of garage and hip hop!

Max signifies everything that made my university experience what it was: never- ending fun, surrounded by people who can always make you laugh, and comfort you just by them being there. Hugs from Max always made you feel that little bit better, and I know many will agree. He really was a truely influential and unforgettable friend.

Love to all the family, the boys, Rosie and everyone else who had the unforgettable experience of meeting Mad Max

Ames

Funeral procession

We shall have a funeral procession for Max before the service at the crematorium.

The procession will start at 11.00 a.m. from Max's house, 93 Chevening Road, lead by the hearse, with mourners following behind on foot. It will progress around Queen's Park and finish at Max's house again at about 11.30.

The hearse will then make its way to the crematorium, and may be followed by mourners in their cars.



The funeral arrangements post under 'Go straight to' now covers the procession and includes the new map.

Seamus

Where The Wild Things Are!

I love this book and I know that Rachel Max's big sister loves it too. When i went to visit her in New York she had brought Max A cuddly 'Max' from the story. I remember thinking then how alike our Max is to max in the story particularlly when he was a little boy. I wish I was clever enough to scan in pictures to this story too but Im not. If anyone is and can do so i would be really happy. This is one of my favourite child hood books I hope you enjoy it too.

Where The Wild Things Are By Maurice Sendak

The night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind and another his mother called him "Wild Thing" and Max said "i'll eat you up" so he was sent to bed without eating anything.

That very night in Max's room a forest grew and grew and grew until his ceiling hung with vines and the walls became the world all around and an ocean tumbled by with a private boat for Max and he sailed off through night and day and in and out of weeks and almost over a year to where the wild things are.

And when he came to the terrible place where the wild things are they roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws till Max said "Be still" and tamed them back with the magic trick of staring into all their yellow eyes without blinking once and they were frightened and called him the most wild thing of all and made him king of all wild things. "And now" cried Max, "Let the rumpus start!"

**********************************************************
***** BIG RUMPUS WITH LOTS OF MONSTERS AND MAX *****
**********************************************************

"Now Stop" Max said and sent the wild things off to bed with out thier supper. And Max the king of all the wild things was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all. Then all around from far away across the world he smelled good things to eat so he gave up being king of where the wild things are.

But the wild things cried, "Oh Please Dont Go" we'll eat you up we love you so!" And Max said "NO!"

The wild things roared thier terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled thier terrible eyes and showed thier terrible claws but Max stepped into his private boat and waved good-bye and sailed back over a year and in and out of weeks and through a day and into the night of his very own room where he found his supper waiting for him.

Hannah

To Max, From Anna

The last time I saw you Max was in early January. I’d just found out you’d missed your flight to Spain (for the second time I believe) and was walking past your house so decided to call round. We chatted for about an hour, drank tea. You smoked a cigarette in the garden, I told you I’d given up. You really wanted to know about how I was doing, what I’d been up to, things that were new. You told me about Spain. It sounded like you were having a brilliant time and you seemed so happy there. You filled me in on the busy weeks you’d spent in London, whether it was witnessing a shooting in Brixton or getting your fair share of female attention – you’d been having lots of fun and seemed happy about that too! We made plans to meet up in Barcelona, you wanted to visit Dave and Rhys but didn’t want to go without me and we also decided that we’d all try and make it to Benicassim for the music festival in the summer. As ever you asked after Rosy. I remember leaving feeling so happy that I’d decided to pop in and say hi, I’d seen you on occasions over Christmas but we hadn’t properly caught up in ages. It had been so nice talking to you. Now, I can’t explain how important that short time means to me. It feels so strange going to your house now and you’re not there.

In all the time I’ve known you – as tiny toddlers, scrawny kids, spotty teenagers and adults living out our dreams – I could never have imagined or predicted this tragedy upsetting our secure, tight-knit, loving group of friends. I could never have imagined that I’d be left regretting not telling you how much I loved you and what an amazing and irreplaceable friend you are.

You were the most positive and fun-loving person I’ve known and hopefully that part of you has rubbed off on all of us and we’ll be able to use that to get through this.

I hope when you were alive you knew just how much people loved and admired you. You touched so many people’s lives and your leaving has changed our lives forever.

With all my love, always, Anna x

Cadiz video

This is a bit of video of Max and friends in Cadiz. Anyone know when it was taken, or what they're saying?
Click here for video
There are quite a few other video clips on his laptop. We'll look through for clips to put on the blog.

Maxamillions and millions and millions

My name is Jacob. I grew up in Queens Park a couple of hundred metres from Max and the rest of the five boys. Max is always somebody that will be a main part of Queens Park and all of our childhoods. I totally associate him with every factor of a sunny summers day, kicking balls and being "Queens Parkers", throughout my life. He is the first to come to mind in mention of a fotty game. He was always full of energy and spirit, always the first to get the game going, always the last to leave the pitch, always the joker, always smiling, always greeting and welcoming, always Max. Didn't have a bad bone in his body or a bad thought in his head. He brought outsiders in, and was the link between so many people and the starter of so many friendships. I think and thank for all those that I wouldn't know and love, if I had not been a friend of his. His group, the five of them (Ize, Dash, Owe and Louis), is always something beautiful to watch. I envied and warmed to how close they all were, and still are, and how much love they all have for eachother. That love will be passed on through our thoughts of Max forever. I know I will never forget him, because the strength of his character was enough to live on in my memory. Seamus and Victoria, my thoughts are, and have been, and will be, with you and the boys entirely. It gives me great pride to know all of you.

All my love. Jacob.


I took this picture on the 5th January 2006. It was the last time I saw Max, and he was on amazing form.

From Lucy

I don't remember when I first met Max. Ever since Chloe and Ellie started Hampstead School when we were 11; Max has always been around... as a part of Rosy, as a part of O, Louis, Ize and Dash, as a part of life as i have known it. Over the years his presence has been a certainty, whether it be in parties all over London, Brighton & mostly Queens Park. I clearly remember years ago him making us all climb over the railings of Queens Park in the middle of the night to get to a house party on the other side, despite my plea's to walk round! It was Max who eventually helped me over (in my 3 inch heals!). More recently Max was around less, but when he was, you knew it was an important occasion. The last time i saw him was on Owen and Ellie's birthday in Aston's in January. I remember vivdly thinking how nice it was to have him around and (as everyone else has said) how genuinely interested he was in how you were and what you'd been doing. His smile, his openness. I have been looking forward to the time when everyone will be coming back from their uni's round the country, from their adventures round the world. Its hard to know that Max won't be coming back. Everything seems a bit unbalanced... a liitle less certain. I'm sending my love to his family, to everyone who was so close to Max and to everyone who misses him.

Love Lucy (Jane) x x x

From Salina in Cadiz

Salina is going to send in a post, but in the meantime here are some of her pictures of Max and herself and friends on her 21st birthday in Cadiz.

Pieces of Max and Rosy

I won’t be able to put everything I want to say into words, but this is a start.

Max was actually my first crush in year 7, but as a geeky eleven-year old, I thought such a heartthrob was way out of my league! He had many different girlfriends then, and looking back on himself, Max admitted sheepishly that he’d been so vain, he’d carried a comb to school to do his hair! We started becoming really close friends in Year 10 when we were sat together at the back of Ms Nicholson’s maths class (perhaps she hoped my studious attitude would rub off on him). Maths certainly became an exciting subject. There was a lot of flirting between us, but as I already had a boyfriend, I just saw Max as a great friend. Later on, he told me that he’d assumed then that he was out of my league!

I remember our first kiss on a wall outside Dash’s house. The 3 of us had been for a drink at the Irish and then ran up Isaac’s road shouting or singing loudly. While Dash went inside Max told me he had something to ask me (he asked first – what a gentleman!).

I remember how for eight months we were on-off, off-on, almost taking it in turns to hurt each other, but always making up. I remember when he went to Mallorca. It was only 2 weeks, but I missed him so much. I was heartbroken when he returned from Mallorca to tell me he’d pulled 2 other girls! I got my revenge within a month, and then we promised to stick together.

I remember regularly staying in bed late, and Max’s attempts to ignore Victoria or Seamus banging on the door telling him to get up! Thank-you Seamus for the times you drove us to school because we were going to be late. On weekends I would lie in bed listening to him on the telephone organising a football match. Or in his kitchen he would stretch the phone cord so he could look in the fridge and organise football at the same time (who says guys can’t multitask?).
I remember countless evenings watching Match-of-the-Day at Isaac’s. Despite my limited interest in the beautiful game (I still don’t reeeeaally understand the off-side rule), I was always comfortable being there with Max, O, Dash, Lou and Ize. And I was always slightly uncomfortable on the way home when Max would saddle me on the back of his bicycle. (It was great having a boyfriend with his own set of wheels.) I guess I had it easy though, since he was doing all the pedalling. I remember all the dinners with Max’s parents and Rachel if she was home. Max’s excessive use of the F-word and his parents’ dislike of it often made mealtimes colourful!

Some nights we went out and I’d come home first. Later he’d climb into bed too, often smelling of beer. I grew to like the smell because it was his. Many nights we’d just get a video and watch it in bed. Usually it was a film about war or gangsters (his choices), but he reckoned ‘Legally Blonde’ and ‘What Women Want’ were actually pretty funny. Some nights I’d leave his house and a moment later he’d call my mobile and we’d talk until he knew I was safely home.

I remember the day we spent on Kho Phan Ngan on our own. He hired a moped and took me to see the oldest and most enormous tree on the island. In Gili Terawangan Max was my nurse when I spent 24 hours between the bed and the bathroom, with vomiting and diarrhoea. He really did take care of me.

One Valentine’s morning the doorbell rang (it was before 9am so it was hardly likely to be Max). There, propped up on the doorstep was a bunch of red roses. I ran to the street but he was nowhere to be seen. He told me after, he’d had his bike waiting round the corner, but I still marvel at how fast he must have run from the front door. When the flowers dried my sentimental mother put all the petals in a bowl. They’re still there.

The day he left for Newcastle we clung to each other in tears and wouldn’t get out of bed (though that was nothing new). Eventually we had to, as he had a train to catch. The first year at uni was especially hard for both of us. Once he came down to Sussex, and we ended the night both in tears, so Louis had to walk me home while Dash took care of Max. I also visited him in Newcastle, in his tiny room on the 8th floor, where he would listen to Dreaming of You by The Coral. (A few months later I heard that song in a shopping centre and started crying.) While in Newcastle, I remember the whole of Max’s building got evacuated and the firemen arrived because a group of us had accidentally set the smoke alarm off (I wonder how…).

I remember the way our arguments usually ended with me in tears and him hugging me. I felt so bad at not being able to control the waterworks, because he couldn’t bear to see me upset without consoling me. I wish he could hug me now.

I remember feeling frustrated with myself at how much time I’d spent doing nothing at Max’s house. But doing nothing with Max was just too appealing.

I remember the funny names he called me.

I remember looking at his face while he was sleeping, trying to picture his features at the age of fifty and work out if he’d be one of those good-looking older men. I remember naming our kids together. I remember how he’d quote his dad by saying it was a pity we hadn’t met when we were a bit older and didn’t feel too young and inexperienced to make a life-long commitment.

I remember our last kiss, out side my house a few months ago, just before he left for Cadiz the first time. It was ironic because we’d spent the entire evening talking about our new love-interests! Afterwards I cried in drunken confusion because I still loved him.

Our relationship changed so much over the years. We never had an anniversary. There was no start date. It just was. It felt like there was no end date either. No matter what happened between Max and me, I didn’t doubt that we’d be there for each other. There were pieces of each other we knew so well. It was an unconditional love, like the kind you have with your family, that’s always there, even when you’re far away, or you’re arguing, or you’re rebelling from it.

It may not have been a perfect love (I doubt there is such a thing), and Max was not an angel (unless he was a fallen one), and I wasn’t an angel to him. But it was ours. It’s so hard accepting the fact that no matter what happens now, we won’t be getting back together. It’s so hard accepting the fact that everything we shared together is now only mine to remember.

I love you Max, I always will.

Touched by Genius

Max aka ‘Max of the day’ as we referred to him will be sorely missed on and off the football pitch.

I came to know Max mainly through football but over time socially as well. He was a genuine person who you felt at complete ease with in all situations.

I was part of the older crew who played football against him and the rest of the huge pool of football talent that came out of his year, too many to mention.

Although we relished the games (battles) against the younger lot, I can remember speaking to Max at length about the super-team we would eventually build once all of his boys had finished travelling and University. We planned to have an 11 a-side team which would include the best of his lot mixed with the best of ours. This showed the mutual respect we all had for one another not just as footballers but as friends as well.

I was desperate to sort this out as I knew how good the team could be. We all joked about how we would start in the lower leagues and eventually make it into the FA Cup. Finally Max would be getting his moment on Match of the Day with the likes of Hansen and Lineker talking about his natural flare, technical ability and 'Zidane-esque' vision. I remember joking with him about how long all of them seemed to be going to University for and by the time they were all finished my lot would be walking our chocolate Labrador's on the Heath wearing corduroy trousers and brogues with the thought of playing competitive football a distant memory.

Playing against Max was brilliant because he was that good, he brought the best out of those around him. His team mates because they wanted to compliment someone of his ability and me the opposition because I knew we had to play well to compete against him.

The Boxing Day games and other seasonal matches were like Cup Finals and we all loved to play in them.

On occasion Max, Owen, Ize, Dash or Louis Figo would come and play for the ‘Bearded Monkeys’ our 5-a-side Power league football team. One week I had to go in goal as our keeper was injured. We were warming up before the game and I went in goal so the boys could shoot at me and I could get used to diving and saving shots. For some reason the rest of the team were talking together and myself and Max were left to warm up. He began to blast shots past me.... into the goal, off the post, crunching the crossbar or just wide. Whatever he did I couldn't get my hands or any part of me near the ball. Suddenly the goal felt massive, I felt small and the ball became elusive.

Being an outfield player it was rare to get this perspective on his game and again it showed how frighteningly good he was. It was a pleasure to play with or against him.

Nothing can prepare us for the permanence of a loss but when that loss is shared by friends and loved ones, the burden becomes lighter to bare. I feel lucky to have known Max and to have played the 'beautiful game' with him. We have been touched by genius!

Rads (1 of 'The Older Lot)

To Recovering Maxaholics: One day at a time

My name is Steve Warshal. I am the father of Ize and Zara. We live in Queens Park. Max has been a fixture in our home since he was a little kid – from birthday parties to basketball games, high school antics to holidays in Spain, gap year travels, Stella, Uni adventures and more. I last saw Max over Xmas – chatting and grinning amiably on the way to the Irish. Max was as close to our blood family as possible. And we are all mourning his loss.

Max’s death has sparked an incredible outpouring of village grieving. Whoever was touched by Max - from his peers to us “oldies” - we are all taking care of each other as best we can – with compassion, consideration, hugs, tears and laughter. As a result, we have become more sensitive and supportive of each other; as well as stronger – and hardened – by life’s harsh realities.

It has been a searing experience. As parents, we try and shield our children from such horrific pain. But, we have been collectively “branded”. Today, the wound is fresh and painful, burning in its intensity and hurt. Eventually, the wound will heal, but we will always have the brand burnished in our psyche.

According to Jewish tradition, the good deeds and positive memories live on, while the body is interred in the grave. We all have our wonderful memories and they will now act as a support and refuge for the rest of our lives.

So, how do we collectively and individually move forward after such a massive and unexpected loss? Our friend Christabel lost her 19 year old son a few years ago to a brain hemorrage. How has she dealt with this blow? Her answer is “one day at a time”. I once asked a good friend who was a recovering alcoholic, how can you live the rest of your life without a drink? Her response was “It’s not like that. I only try to get through one day at a time.”

With the help of work, hobbies, sport, outside diversions, and each other’s support, we are getting through one day at a time. The problem is that the process is so damn tough - raw, excrutiating and lonely. And yet, living a full and positive life is the best antidote we have.

Let me end with a comment on the death/life cycle. The day Max died, our nephew and his wife gave birth to a baby girl, Mira. And on March 18th, our niece gave birth to a baby boy in Seattle.
His name is Max.



(Max, Louis, Owen and Ize. I would always make the kids pose for team photos. About age 13-14)