RIP

Hey,

From the times I met up with Max, I always felt his true passion for enjoying life and his genuine friendship.

I still remember the time we both ate terrible Hawaiian burgers in Bali, and witnessed his girlfriend Rosie having her tongue pierced……good times.

Rest In Peace Max, you will be missed.

Han-Li (aka d-tox)

Maxo Maxo man! I wanna be, a Maxo man!

Its been just over two months now, and i wish to attempt to express my current feelings. Getting back to the day to day responsibilities of life has been an effective distraction, however when my thoughts catch up with me, like they have done today, i can't help but feel a greater sense of loss than ever before. As time keeps ticking away, widening the gap from my last contact with Max (which was a January night in Brighton when we ended up sharing my bed, i had to roll him over and prod him a good few times cos he was snoring in my face, wouldn't change a thing tho)...i feel more angry and upset. I will never lose my memories of the times we spent together (my entire life, almost) , but the fact that there are no new ones is becoming more evident each day. Before, in the immediate aftermath of Max's death, my life was taken over by the love that we all have for him. It obviously brought everyone together in a incomparable fashion. I feel that i have become closer to many friends in this last 2 months than the whole time i have known them. The tragic events have made me appreciate life to such an extent that i want to be like Max, i wish to live for him. I know that sounds stupid, but there is no time to waste any more, no time to ponder or to be hopeless, because the relationships we now have with one and other are priceless, and must be taken advantage of while they can.


Nothing will justify what happened to Max, or the loss that we must live with, but i personally must try and improve my life now, as losing my best friend has opened my eyes to what is really important in life.

On another note, i want to see more pictures !! has anyone got some pics of last new years eve? i would love to see them!!!

The two pics of max up above are two of my favourites. Cooking fry ups was always a treat at Max's, cos he has the best fridge contents around, farmers market sausages and sainsburys taste the difference pancetta, button mushrooms (his favourite), fresh roasted Colombian coffee thanks to Seamus, what more could you ask for (it looks good). Then there's Max with the ironing board, what else can i say. Maxo Man Randy Savage....

Max

My name is David Sillett and I met Max at newcastle uni and got to know him through the football team. The first game I played in, the boys were saying how Max the star striker was missing. The next game when Max turned up I thought how can he be the star striker, he was hungover, looked like he was about to be sick and had a fag hanging out of his mouth. Later in the game, he got the ball, took it round 2 of their defenders and smacked it in the top corner from 25 yards. I thought, 'oh, thats why'.

Playing with him was a privelege as he was a great player with an abundance of skill, so elegant and graceful with the ball at his feet, yet at the same time he ran like he danced, with his elbows sticking out jigging from side to side. Max had more skill in his big toe than most others had in both feet and as for some of the tricks ive seen him do, that was some Ronaldinho business. One thing I always noticed was how modest he was and never said to anyone how he thought he was the best player, he just played for the love of the game which was transmitted to everyone through his beaming smile and enthusiasm.

I got to know Max well outside of football and got to know so many others through him. He was the centre of so many groups of friends due to his open heart, friendly nature and genuine interest in people. I liked his company, his jokes, the way he used to throw insults at me and laugh, the way he was always up for a night out. A night I remember well was Max 21st party, which was the best house party I went to at uni (even though Id broken my ankle that day). At house parties especially, I always thought that if Max was in the corner of a room, it somehow became the centre of the room, due to the way everyone wanted to be around him.

I got together with Rachael, who lived with Max that year, and the night we first kissed was a night out just me, her and Max in Newcastle. I have alot of respect for the way he looked out for her. I spent a lot of time round no 25 after me and rach started going out, either to see her or the boys. I lost count the amount of times I would be in bed with Rach and he would come home from a night out. I would hear him stomping up the stairs, the door would come flying open followed by Max. 'Yes Dave' at the top of his voice, followed by either a story of the nights events or he would stand there drunk, with his cheeky smile, insult me and leg it out of the room laughing. Sometimes when I couldnt sleep I would go down into his room and chill there until the early hours.

The last time I spoke to Max was the day of the carnival. We had spoken on the phone and all day planned to meet up. I ended up in such a state, both opposite sides of the carnival that we didnt end up seeing each other. Max sent me a text the next morning saying sorry we didnt get a chance to meet up but not to worry we will get together soon for a night out, which is something that I just took for granted.

The sheer amount of people who went to the football game in Queens Park and who went to the funeral I thought was incredible. Though what I find more incredible is that Max made all of those people happy in some way and had such a massive impact and effect on so many people. I feel sad that I had not kept in contact as well as I would have liked once I finished university but so glad that I knew him and have such fond memories of him. Max is one of the few people I can honestly say I look up to and I feel there is alot I can still learn from him. He always treated people with so much respect, kindness and affection, qualities he always showed towards me.

Max you are a top boy, rest in peace mate.
Dave

Oxford festival

Hello,

Just wanted to let everyone know about a festival I'm helping to organise in Oxford. The festival is a one day free event to commemorate the 60th anniversary year of the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and remember the lives lost. There's going to be a main stage, dance tent and acoustic tent. I told Max about the festival in the christmas holidays when it all seemed pretty impossible still and he was so supportive and impressed and made me excited about it all over again.

I'm letting everyone know because the dance tent is going to be officially called The Max O'Connell Dance Tent, and Owen and IC are going to be performing in it at 3pm, which will be wicked. Loads of people are coming up from London as well so it should be really good.

So if anyone's in Oxford or around the area, the details are below. Sorry it's such short notice.

'A Noughtie Message' - Hiroshima and Nagasaki: Never Again.

Saturday, April 29th, 2006South Park, Oxford, 12pm-7pm.

Holly.

max-a-million

This is from Lisa Philson

I first met Max in my first year, he was in my film class and a stroke of luck (and the fact our surnames were beside one another!) put us in a little presentation group together. I was very pleased mostly because in seminars Max often filled those awkward, ‘avoid eye contact with the lecturer at all costs’ moments with some enlightened idea or a least another question to change the topic - he was gonna be useful! He opened our first ever conversation by informing me of his fear of northern Irish girls! It was a surprisingly good conversation starter and after about 20 minutes of supposedly discussing the ins and outs of ‘la haine’, I knew all about his travelling, his house parties, his mates and his varying musical tastes whilst I had told him about my life-so-far, romantic entanglements, my admiration for our lecturer Phil and my views on the state of Northern Irish politics! I even remember getting out a set of photos to give him visual representations of the people I was talking about! The next few meetings moved further and further away from the actual presentation and me and Max became mates. For the presentation itself I managed to secure the role of official handout giver-outer, while I watched Max and Rach try to compose themselves whilst giggling at the podium. Now, in reflection I can say that I have never been so glad that I neglected my work; if I’d taken it more seriously I may never have gotten to know him.

A few weeks later it emerged that Max and I were gonna be neighbours the following year, and it was during that year on Shortridge Terrace that I really got to know him. We had nights out, deep conversations about religion and travelling on the way home from uni, silly chats over a cuppa or dene’s deli. He’d become an integral part of my uni life and even my mates who were not so familiar with him felt his friendly magnetism. For the last few weeks I’ve been flooded with memories of him - I remember waving to him from my window whilst he casually strolled past in his mad max t-shirt, having a break from working in the OAC only to lie on the grass in the quadrangle for the rest of the afternoon, him informing me the day after a particularly messy St Paddy’s day that we had made a pact to marry and have Irish named kids, my constant questioning of how he actually knew by name 70% of the Newcastle student population!

I still can’t believe that I’m not gonna hear him say ‘leeesssaaa’ in the way only he did, that our numerous, silly plans for his return to the toon will never be fulfilled, that I can’t fill him in on the latest episode in the Lisa saga and hear about his latest exploits! But since reading all the tributes to him on the blog, I’ve been feeling lucky that I knew him, that he knew me, that I shared moments with this amazing person, that I know he enjoyed everything he did and his life was full. I adored Max in a way that doesn’t happen very often, and that is how he will remain with me.

Lisa

Commemoration football match - Easter's pics and video

Easter took some pictures at the commemoration football match in Queen's Park on Sunday 5 March.






Here's David in his commemoration shirt:






Click here for a pan around some of the crowd - filmed by Easter's phone, so the resolution is not great.

Latest comments

It's easy to see when a new post has gone up - it's at the top of the list. But there's no easy way of knowing if people have made any comments on old posts since the last time you looked.

However, as blogmaster I get told about comments as they're made, and I shall maintain a list of the latest comments in this post, which you will be able to get to by clicking on 'Latest comments' under 'Go straight to' on the right hand side of the window.

Click on the post to go to it and its comments:

28 July
Max O'Connell Cup 2007

15 July
A bit more of Max

2 July
Smiley Max

13 April
From Stef
A Year On

28 February, 8 and 11 March, and 4 April
Max - the best friend I never met

26 February
From Susanne

22 February
I just remembered 'Smiley Max',
Smiley Max
Thinking about Max

11 February
Max's Tree in Queen's Park

7 February
A letter

7, 12, and 21 January 2007
2007

25 December
Missing Max

22 December
Max's tree in Queen's Park

4 December
Footy in Newcastle

7 November
Missing Max

2 and 5 November
Footy in Newcastle

25 October
Smiley Max

23 October
In memoriam Max
TONIGHT (9.10.06)

2 and 3 October
Smiley Max

22 September
A little word from Jo

31 August
The Max O'Connell Cup (new photo)

29 August
The Max O'Connell Cup
A little word from Jo

24 August
The Max O'Connell Cup

20 and 21 August
A little word from Jo

12 August
From Ize

21 and 24 July
Smiley Max

17 July
Max - from Lucy Attwood
From Ize

14 July
For Max

9 and 10 July
From Ize

7 July
From Ize
THE MAX O'CONNELL CUO

4 and 6 July
For Max

20 and 27 June
Today (16/6/06)

19 June
Some feelings about Max being gone
Missing Max

13 and 14 June
Some feelings about Max being gone

5 June
Missing Max

26 May
max - from tom

22 May
May 18th

18 and 19 May
Smiley Max

14 and 15 May
Yet Another Day

9 May
Smiley Max

7 May
Yet Another Day

2 May
Oxford festival

1 May
Maxo Maxo man! ...

19, 25, and 26 April
From Salina

18 April
Dearest Max

14 April
Devonshire pics

12 April
You caught me ...
Max and Me
To Recovering Maxaholics

Seamus

Max

Dear Mr. Seamus,

I just wanted to say how much Max is loved by me even though I knew him for a very short time while at university. Im really sorry i hope you are keeping strong...below is my post.

Amal , Bahrain.

I met Max in fresher week we left dorms to go to sugar, which sucked! But I remember going back that night happy I met him, I remember telling him he was too friendly and outgoing whilst sober to be really sober ;p But that really was his personality, any time, or state, I ran into Max he smiled big and with arms wide open! He always had a funny story and brought the glimmers out in even the most random things! Always genuinely caring he spoke about Rosy and always listened to me complain about my love life and the lack thereof... When I think about many uni nights Max is in the centre of it, everybody loves him... his loss is shattering, as I collect the vivid pieces I have of him and wish that there could be so much more of what is so precious, I am so sad for his family and close friends I cant imagine your heartache, im so sorry Max is irreplaceable so I really can't believe he is missing from this world! Going through all the memories on this site I know Max will be remembered every day... month... year...

From Salina

Six months ago, I met Max. We talked, we laughed, and we started hanging out. Every time I saw him, I smiled a big smile, and he'd smile one back and wave me over to wherever he was, or come over to where I was. He'd put his arm around me and say something to the effect of "que pasa chiquilla?" or "Saliner, you sexy yank." Getting a silly text message, email, or running into him on the bus or around town would always make me smile.

I ran into him a lot around Cadiz, especially, for some reason, the week before he died. He always greeted me with some sort play on my name or the fact that I'm American.

He seemed to be around when I had a couple of meaningless problems, like losing my cell phone (which he smartly said didn't matter, because I could easily get another), and having issues with boys. He stuck up for me on one specific occasion recently, and it meant a lot to me. I felt very protected and safe in his presence in an otherwise unsafe situation. I hugged him for a good 15 minutes and it was then that I think I realized just how much his friendship meant to me, and how close we'd become in just six short months.

I ran into him buying his chef costume at the carnaval store the day before, and I (because I recently returned from a trip to London and delighted in sharing with him my newfound English vocab) asked if he would make me some "bangers and mash," to which he gave me a sly look and, testing my UK knowledge, asked me if I knew what rugby was (which I do, by the way).

The next night was the biggest night of carnaval in Cadiz. I didn't make it to the party at his flat, but after that, he and I had been calling each other and missing each others' calls all night. I just wasn't giving up on seeing him and all the other English speakers. The city was crazy, with people shoved in any possible nook or cranny to avoid the rain. All of the friends I was with decided to go home, but I just wasn't ready. I went alone to try to find Max, and when he spotted me, he grabbed me, hugged me, and asked me where the hell I had been. We hung out outside of the infamous O'Connell's bar in the Plaza de San Fransisco, where I had seen him many times, day and night, over the last 6 months.

We stood there awhile, hanging out with friends, drinking, and just enjoyed the crazy, rain and alcohol soaked atmosphere of Cadiz. He bit me really hard on the cheek that night for absolutely no reason, and the pain stayed with me for days…and, it's weird, but I wish it had stayed with me forever. Then, some people got hungry and antsy, so we headed off in another direction. A few people stepped into a crowded restaurant, and Max stepped out, complete in his chef costume, with a very Spanish chorizo sandwich and a bottle of cruzcampo beer. I have an image of him in my head, gnawing on the sandwich, then holding it out to me, offering a bite.

All the time after that, even until this very moment, is a blur. I know what happened, I was one of the few that saw everything, but I also know that I am one of the few fortunate ones who got to spend Max's last moments with him. One minute we were all laughing and enjoying the night, awaiting whatever adventure might come next, and suddenly a million people's lives were turned around. And even though I saw him go, I still can't believe he is gone. Those moments will and do haunt me, but the good memories and the fun we all had with Max are what is helping me personally get through it.

It comforts me to know that to the moment he left us, Max was very happy, infected with the overwhelming spirit of carnaval and Spain, and doing what he did better than anyone I know, having a great time.

Max really touched my life. He made me smile and laugh, and he really was the life of the party. If someone like Max comes into my life ever again, I will know it was because of him, working his social butterfly magic from up above.

I know that I am blessed to have known Max, even for the short time that it was. Those of you who knew him longer and better are very fortunate. I made a note in my journal last December about how Max complimented me in a way that really struck me. He told me I was real, and that I listen, which is something I really strive to be and do, but that most people don't point out in such a way. It meant a lot.

My Mom told me today that death is something in life that you can't and won't ever get over, but you can only push through by keeping the good memories and thoughts of Max alive and in your hearts.

In the words of Max, "Ciao for now, brown cow. See ya pronto." You are missed.

Love from your favorite yank, Salina Greig

From Tasha

Hello, my name is Natasha, “Tash”, “rude-girl” (and the list goes on as far as Max is concerned). I have taken a while to actually write this, as I was hoping that with a little more time it would be easier to express my thoughts on Max in a way that best tributes him for me. However, this has become an impossible task because I realise that there are just endless thoughts and memories that I am lucky enough to have, so I thought I should just try and give a small account for the hugely significant part that he has played, and will continue to play in my life.

I was lucky enough to be placed in a class at Hampstead with the four of the Magnum Five that were also there, which became a primary reason for our Tutor Group being the best in the year as far as I concerned.

Our friendship began with me, coming to school in my Timberland boots and chasing Max around the school, kicking him as hard as possible in the shins. I would do this for no reason, but as it went on, it became a clear indication that I, like so many others, fancied him like crazy. Believe it or not this actually worked for me, as I got the chance to say that I went out with him for a whole month (which was quite an achievement in those days).

We used to spend hours on the phone each night, talking about anything and everything. He would always tell me about the day’s/ evening’s goings on at the park and never failed to let me know about the huge ‘munch’ that he needed/ wanted/ was preparing or had just eaten.

During our daily discussions, (whether it would be about how he climbed through the window to get in/ out, or how intelligent his sister was and how proud he was of her, as though he was the complete opposite!) amongst many topics of conversation there would be frequent intervals, where my mum would be telling me to get off the phone and I would scream back obscenities at her, to which Max would be ‘shocked’ and told me off (keeping him in my mum’s good books). This always seemed so hypercritical to me because only minutes later, he would go on to do exactly the same at his family.

The thing that makes me laugh the most is the way that he would take the p### out of me. This was because he would do this by naming me every different fruit under the sun (although I think ‘plum’ was a definite favourite) and yet somehow, he still managed to make it sound like it was a decent ‘cuss’. At this point, I would like to apologise for telling Sami (one of our class/ school jokers) about the whole Ducky thing, because that was probably one of the worst things that I could ever have done.

What I love about Max is the way that he could get through to a large variety of people and manage to gain such a huge respect from us all. Max was great at adapting to different people and making us all feel special in different ways, because he genuinely cared. I will always be truly grateful for being accepted as a part of that.

Max would always be so thoughtful and I remember when my grandma died, I had to go to her house in Buckinghamshire and every night, I would get a comforting phone call to check up on me and fill me in on what was happening. I will always be thankful for this.

I find it difficult to talk about Max in the past tense, as for me his legacy will always remain and for that reason, I am signing out with a message for him to say

Thank you for letting me in and for giving me a part of you that will always be with me and that is enhanced especially when I’m with friends, because it is almost as though you have given us all pieces to your jigsaw that we can always keep safe, and when more of us get together, the stronger your picture becomes.

Max, until this happened to you, I always tried to convince myself that everything happens for a reason (because this helped me to come to terms with my own situation). However, I now know that is total rubbish (although you know there are far better words that I would rather use). The reason that I am addressing you is because you have given us all far too much to be forgotten.

So, until we meet again, make sure that you have perfected those sausages that you promised me the last time we met.

Forever Love,

Tasha xx

Dearest Max

Dearest Max,

Thank you. It has been such an honour and a privilege to know you and have you in my life, however brief; you are one of those people that make me have faith in the rest of human kind. If only there were more like you.

I saw Max way before I ever met him. Max and ‘the boys’ all hung around together at school, always laughing, playing football and surrounded by people - everyone wanted to be part of them. Despite being so popular, they weren’t intimidating, always inviting. I was 3 years below max at Hampstead School, but because I knew some of his friends’ younger siblings he started to say hello. Always making an effort to ask how my day was - I think he knew that I secretly fancied him as every time he’d speak to me I’d turn red - he’d play on it by smiling and saying something cheeky in Spanish which I’d half understand. As I got older I used to see him and the boys in The Black Lion in West Hampstead, again we’d always exchange friendly banter. The thing that always struck me most was how he’d always remember things about you and seem genuinely interested in what you had to say - he would make you feel special and interesting. But it was him that was special. To have the ability to be in a crowded pub and make everyone feel like the only person in the room.

I got really close to Max just before he left for Cadiz, in fact it was a few days before he was due to leave and a bunch of people had gone to the South Bank and then to a few bars I think. They ended up in some crazy house party in Cricklewood. I hadn’t seen Max for about a year before that, I didn’t even know he was going to Spain, but as soon as we saw each other he came straight up to me, gave me a massive cuddle and asked if I cared to buy him a drink. The cheek! Of course I did. I was just happy he was speaking to me. Being around Max is like a drug, you can’t get enough, he makes you feel good and that’s addictive.

The party went on till the early hours of the morning and I was pretty gone. Despite it being one of Max’s last nights in London, when most the people were leaving to go home he stayed and looked after me. We spent the whole evening talking and catching up - I couldn’t believe how close I felt him, he enabled me to feel safe whilst being vulnerable. Max would open up about his insecurities which just made you love him more because he wasn’t afraid to be human. When people die, there’s a tendency to dress them up as saints. Max was not a saint, but he was probably one of the most human people I have ever met.

The next evening Max invited me out for a drink. I felt so honoured that he chose to spend his second to last night with me - how could I refuse? I was so nervous - I suppose part of me still felt like a 13 year old school girl with a crush on the school’s golden boy. I didn’t stand a chance. Max met me at Queens Park station and we went for drinks in the long room, from the minute we sat down we didn’t stop talking till we were asked first politely and then not so politely to leave. The whole time that we were in there people kept coming up to Max and shaking his hand and bidding him farewell. Even then it was obvious that Max would be greatly missed.

Max spoke a lot about how nervous he was about going - he knew it was such a great opportunity, but he was worried he wouldn’t fit in and would miss his family and friends too much. From listening to him talk about the important people in his life with such passion and love, you couldn’t help but absorb it and feel like they are yours too. We joked about how long it would take him to ‘run’ Cadiz and how everyone would know his name. This seemed to cheer him up, but then he started worrying about leaving Cadiz to go to Costa Rica.

Max invited me to go to Cadiz to spend a weekend there, I just assumed it was one of those things that people say to be nice, and of course I agreed, not thinking, if I’m being honest, that it would ever happen. Two hours after I left his he called me and said ‘Tasha, are you serious? Do you wanna come? I’m on the internet and I’ve found some cheap tickets.’ I couldn’t believe he was serious and to be honest I wasn’t sure it was a good idea. Although I’d known Max for years I’d only just MET him. However something told me to go for it. That was the best decision I’ve ever made.

I arrived in Cadiz on October the 4th 2005. Max’s 23rd birthday. He met me at the airport and spent the whole train journey to his place filling me in on the madness of his first week. I remember him being so upset that he thought he’d offended someone due to a misunderstanding. He truly thought that they didn’t like him. Max hated to upset anyone, it was really important for him to get on with everyone - by the time I left they were like best mates. That’s Max.

Before we went out I gave him a bottle of Champagne which we shared with his housemates Peter, Gertz and Sheryl on his balcony. The boys then gave him a Cadiz football kit which they’d bought for him. He was speechless; later that evening he took me aside and told me how happy he was and that he couldn’t believe how lovely everyone was to him. I think it just reflects how much of an impact Max has on people.

There is so much more to say, but it just comes out in a jumbled mess, I find it hard expressing feelings and doing justice to memories that in my head are so vivid but pale in comparison on paper. There are so many people that I never met or didn’t know that well but feel like I do from the way he spoke about them. You know if you were one of these people because he always made it clear where you stood with him, there was never any bullshit. When we would talk he’d often say that my views and ideals reminded him of himself at my age, I find that such a compliment (if not a little patronizing) because Max believed and lived for the important things in life, family, friends and loved ones. Sometimes I’d look at him and he’d seem so childlike - getting excited and het up about things like a six year old. Other times, he would say something or give me advice that was way beyond his years. Max, you have taught me so much - the way you lived your life, open and spontaneous, considerate and generous - thank you.

Natasha FitzGerald

Watching Max

I like to watch your footy videos
Your skillful legs, your twinkle-toes
Your gangly arms and floppy hands,
Your milky chest, you boy/stroke/man
Your golden head of golden curls
Your looks that got you a string of girls
I like to watch you with your cigarette
Talking Spanish with some girls you've met
I know not what you say but you're looking at me
And I wish that those eyes that are looking could see
I like to watch you on my computer srceen
Because it's better than nothing Max, do you know what I mean?

More footy videos

I have put up some more video clips of Max and the lads practicising their ball skills. When you click on the link you get the first video. A panel on the right of the video window contains links to the other clips.

Click here

Most of the videos were taken with the camera on its side, so that they play sideways. Video rotate techniques and utilities are available on the web, but the best way of dealing with this is to view the videos on a laptop and turn the laptop on its side.

Seamus

Me encantaba su sonrisa - translation

I have received a translation of the message from Teresa Candón, Max's Spanish teacher in Cadiz, and I have added it to her post. Click here to go straight to it.

What she says is very touching and generous. I'm sorry it has taken so long to get a translation up.

Seamus

RIP Maximus - from Ku

I've been writing this post since quite soon after I first heard the awful news, but I wanted to wait until after the funeral to finish. I sort of don't even really want to finish writing it because I'd feel like I was doing Max an injustice by not writing more, there is just so much to say about him. Im finding it very very hard to just finish up and send this.

The first memory I have of Max was seeing him and Marcus throwing hotdogs at some girls in the early hours of the morning in Newcastle! Me and a couple of my mates saw him doing this and decided to pretend to be all chivalrous and stop them to impress these girls, until we realised that the girls were actually annoying as hell.......so we joined pelting these two girls with food!! That must be back in 2001 or 2002 now.

After a shaky start (basically me and Marcus had a drunk fight, all resolved now - and I've not forgotten you spotting me and Johnny Reeves struggling to get into Astons and bringing us out a cold can of Red Stripe each Marcus, great work!) I like to think that me and Max grew to become good friends. I grew especially close to Max in my last couple of years at university, where we spent a few nights going out just the two of us, which was widely acknowledged as being quite a dangerous combination! During the funeral weekend Jo actually said she'd always laugh when Max would say he's going out with me, because he wouldnt even ask anyone else really, he'd just say to her right im off drinking with Ku, and she knew there would be a good few stories the next day, such as the kitchen smashing incident at Devonshire Place!

I remember the night when we broke through the barrier of being acquaintances to becoming good friends very clearly. It was at the end of a term, and I was to drive back to Preston the next day. I went to some random house party, expecting it to be a standard run of the mill crap Jesmond house party, and to my surprise Max and Eddie were there. Up until then, I think Max thought of me as a bit of a gruff skinhead (I did have one back then) northerner, and we didnt really know each other that well. I remember him saying to me that night "I've seen a different side to you tonight Ku", and we got on like a house on fire. Max actually ended up being my wingman that night, and was a brilliant one at that.

He did come up to Newcastle during graduation in July 2005, and was supposed to be staying at mine, but as usual with us our evenings didnt go quite as planned and I think he only ended up staying at my house the one night, but I remember it well as that was the last time that I spent time with him. Im attaching a photo from around then, when Max and Eddie went to Jo's graduation as her parents were stuck in London due to the bombings, and I met them after and we all went to the Hancock for a few drinks. Thats the only picture I can find with both me and Max on it, there must be some more about if anybody has any I'd love to have a copy. There's also a picture of Eddie and Max from that day which Jo took, she said she remembers telling them to pose and Max pulling his phone out, he's not even speaking to anybody on that picture he's just pretending to try and look cool!!

The very last time I saw him was during that time when I gave him a lift to Newcastle train station, we had a quick pint together before he left for London. Since then we had spoken a lot on the phone and on email but not actually managed to meet up, which is something I regret deeply now.

I'll remember him for his red Carharrt hoody which he wore ALL the time (I always wanted to rob it - I might go buy one now) his Mad Max t-shirts which used to make me laugh every time, his love for playing football and nutmegging people. I remember seeing him down Jesmond dene every day in the summer, complaining to me how he has not been doing his uni work because he's been down the park playing football all day, but he just couldnt help himself!

But most of all I'll remember him for being a top top lad, always smiling and joking, always up for having a laugh and hugely popular. He always had the time of day for anyone, and I dont know anybody who had a bad word to say about him. To be honest he is probably the reason why I am mates with any of the people in the years below me at Newcastle, and I am sure he is the link between many groups of friends. There were people at the funeral that weekend who I haven't seen for ages - we've all agreed to make the effort to stay in touch and see each other more often, try and take a positive out of all this if we can. Something like this makes you realise not to take things for granted and make the most of any situation, make the effort with those you love and enjoy every moment you can.

It was also lovely to meet all his boys, Isaac, Louis, Owen and Dash, and we had a really good game of football the day after the funeral, Max's uni mates against his home mates. Us uni boys let them lot win ;)

To Max's family - I am truly sorry I didn't get to meet you myself at the funeral, I kept meaning to come over in Aston's before you left. I cannot imagine what this is like for you, but you should know what a top lad Max was and how much everybody who knew him loved him, and try to seek some solace in that.

Our friend Mick summed it up perfectly - its a massive loss, to anybody who knew him. Max was a great lad everybody loved him. Still cant believe this has happened, I keep expecting to meet up and have a wicked laugh with him soon.

RIP mate I promise you'll never ever be forgotten.

Ku

About Max - from Seamus

Not everyone knows the basic facts of Max's life: In brief:

Max was born on 4 October 1982, son to Victoria and Seamus, and brother to Rachel.

Max grew up in Queen’s Park, a district near Kilburn in north-west London which is set around the park from which it takes its name. He went to the local primary school in Salusbury Road and then on to Hampstead School, a local comprehensive.

During those years Max made a great many good friends, and spent a lot of time in Queen’s Park playing football with them. As they got older many evenings were spent in ‘the Irish’ - it was originally the local Irish Centre and later became a bar. Owen Cutts, Dash Lilley, Louis Russell, and Isaac Warshal were particularly close, and the five of them went on their gap year travels together.

In his teens Max had a long and important relationship with Rosy Rowlands, who also lived near the park and went to Hampstead School. They decided to split up when they went to University, but they still remained close and were an important part of each other’s history.

The four boys were pall-bearers at Max’s funeral, and they and Rosy spoke.

After his gap year Max went to Newcastle University, where he made some very good friends - see the contributions to the blog. At the funeral Eddie Clark and James Hutchinson were pall-bearers, and Jo Lewin and Eddie spoke.

Part of Max’s course was a year abroad in Spain. He enjoyed Spanish and was becoming a fluent Spanish speaker. He chose to go to Cadiz - where in a short time he made more good friends. And it was there on 26 February that he had the accident that ended his life. He was twenty-three years old.

All three of Max’s immediate family spoke at his funeral. This is what I said:

Max was always fundamentally optimistic and cheery. As a toddler he’d leap on to his tricycle at the gate on our corner of the park and hurtle down the slope with a grin on his face and no fear whatsoever. The first time he was taken swimming at the Jubilee he looked in the pool, saw all these children swimming, thought that looks easy, I can do that, I don’t need inflatable arm-bands, and leaped straight in. Luckily Louis’s mum was in the water and fished him out. He was for once a bit shocked.

Max did have doubts and worries, like everyone else, but I felt that his natural ebullience would always win through in the end.

He could be wilful, and we had some struggles bringing him up, but they’d become things of the past. He’d been getting much better organized, though he did still miss the plane last time he went back to Cadiz. Of course, he’d always managed to organize footy and parties. And in October he organized a long weekend for us in Cadiz for Victoria’s birthday - a pleasant modest room near the middle of Cadiz, a meal in Cadiz’s best restaurant, and an evening in a backstreet flamenco bar (where he briefly fell in love with the youngest dancer). He was starting to get on top of things. But we did think it a bit rich for him of all people to complain about the manana attitude of the Gaditanos.

When we went back to collect his things it was heart-wrenching to find on his table in the flat his latest cheerful little To Do list from the day before he died, with friends to email, a professor to see, people to ask about doing English teaching and sports coaching.

I was always pleased that he enjoyed football, did well at it, organised teams and events, took a coaching course, and so on. But I very rarely saw him play. I regret that now. But the football was very much his thing, we left him to it, there'd always be plenty of time for us to get around to watching a match some other day.

From when he was quite young I’d found that he could be very sensible about people. In recent years I had sometimes asked his advice about how to deal with someone, and taken it. And he could be very sensible about practical things too, though not always able to take his own advice. Even so, for us, it’s both surprising and very moving to read in a letter from a Newcastle friend that ‘I know that from now on, that whenever I’m tempted to do something daft, I’ll think about the advice he’d have given me.’

We knew Max was a friendly young man with people skills at least as good as his ball skills. He’d always been prepared to talk to grown-ups when another boy might have averted his eyes as a parent passed by. And we realised he knew a lot of people, but we hadn’t grasped just how many. Though we did joke about how when we walked with him around Newcastle or Cadiz he’d be greeted by a friend every two or three streets or so - and in Cadiz that was after he’d been there less than two months, and the friends included Gaditanos. We knew he was basically good-hearted, but we had no idea how greatly he was liked and respected - the tributes in the blog, and all the people here, have quite overwhelmed us. It’s not that we didn’t know him, it’s that we didn’t realise just how much there was of the him we did know.

Cadiz is such a nice place, Max liked it there, he was doing well, getting himself sorted out, making plans for his future. Then this.

It will be both painful and a consolation for us to see the other boys and Rosy continuing, growing older and starting families of their own. We know that we and they will never forget Max.

Seamus

From Amie Ferris Rotman

Max:

It was not really until your funeral – when two hundred people moved in a surreal silence alongside Queen's Park – that I realised your absolute absence. I missed you terribly.

Phoebe called me the day you died, her voice shattered and audibly marked, when I was picking up my luggage in Heathrow from a long trip to Russia. Her words of your death covered me in a sharp unforgiving pain that I will never forget. My ridiculously overweight luggage felt like a mere feather in the swamp of pointlessness she conveyed, and I felt so empty. On the way home, through the taxi car's window, glorious London had ground to a halt – you and your smile were gone.

Afterwards, at your memorial football match, your friends' usual discord was hampered and weakened by a tremendous force that drove deep into my veins. You are now now forever missing from our park, where I grew up with you. I have never seen Queen's Park so empty. Yes, there were children and other Max's playing football – but at that moment, starched by a rare blue sky, a vein from my childhood idyll disintegrated.

This absence wanted to strike a deal with me: know this and know your Queen's Park life is now incomplete and marred with holes. I can hear your voice across my body – dark, husky and ever-joking. Darling childhood friend, you marked my earliest existence by just being you, and I am so pained you are gone.

I hope to take care of Rachel, my oldest and dearest friend, for years to come. For it is through her moving on, that I can begin to walk through the park again with ease, with fullness again.

Amie

You caught me ...

You caught me when I fell in love with you
I wish my love I could have caught you too.

Some pics

Hi there,

First of all let me tell Max family I´m terribly sorry for this great loss. My name is Raquel Bernal. I´m Spanish, student from Cádiz university. I love helping students from abroad. I first met Max in the accomodation office where I work. He was looking for a place to stay during his erasmus grant here, in cádiz. From the very first moment I knew he was a great person, in fact, in that first meeting we were talking over one hour time. Then he applied for all the parties we organized in Cádiz (I held at that moment the charge of presiedent of ESN, a student association whose main aim is to provide Erasmus students with all comodities and facilitates to integrate in the city. Max told me he wanted to do ANYTHING and I noticed he was full of life, eager to be happy and help anothers. Then It came the welcome meeting fo the university of Cádiz where we were tlaking for a big while... he was really happy... this is the meeting where this pics are taken of. He didn´t know me and invited me to his birthday on october, calebrated on the beach... He came to a very big party I organized in Seville with more thn 1000 persons and he was the only person who thanked me for organizing this events and for looking for a lodgin for him... so he took part in all the events we held. another pics I send u are the ones in halloween party, there are lots of people, but you can see Max smile among people. Last time I saw Max was on February 2006 when he came to the "Oficina del voluntariado" Charity office at Cádiz University where he was looking for something to help other people. He came to my desk and as I told him I was going to take an interview in uk he offerd me all of his help in order to prepare this... I could't say goodbye to Max since I was far away. But I´m very happy because I was one of the lucky persons who met him and I can say honestly he was havin one of the best times of his life here, in Cádiz...

See you Max...

sorry for my english

PS.

First pic: Max and me

2nd: Max and Irene, an Italian friend

3rd and 4th: Halloween at Nahu (the pub Erasmus people used to go)

For Max... x

From Charlotte

There was always something so special about Max. His smile could light up a room, and if he was out, you knew that the night would be full of adventure with always something to talk about the next day. I can't actually remember the first time I met Max but I do remember endless lunch times sitting in my year room with Holly and the girls watching the boys play football in the back cage. It was Owen who I first became friends with out of the 'Queens Park Boys'. I was in year 8 and in the school production of the 'Wiz' with him and Rosie. I think it must have been around that time that I was first introduced to Max, the handsome, playful, crazy member of the group who could charm you in a second and always took a minute to see how you were doing.

That was the thing about Max, it felt like there was nothing fake about him, he had time for everyone and everyone loved him for it. I remember walking home from school with him one day after the masses had dispersed form the school gates. (I must have been about 14 so he would have been 16) I felt so totally comfortable talking to him about all my (at that point ) incredibly important and top secret love life issues which back then I obviously would never have dreamed of talking about with a boy, but even then there was just something so honest and true about Max that made you immediately open up and trust him. I remember wishing that I had lived further away form school so we could have talked for longer, I just couldn't get over how friendly and incredibly 'cool' he was.

The thought of Queens park without Max seems so far out of reach. Just thinking of the park, the Irish centre or the Montrose immediately makes you think of Max and the boys, of summer days watching them all play football, of being so nervous to drink in the pub with them when I was so obviously under age, of feeling so excited each time I came into the area and knowing that whatever happened, as long as we were with the 'Queens Park Boys', we would all be having fun. But above all, remembering how privileged I felt to be able to hang out with such an exceptionally special and true group of people. Max was at the centre of it all, making you feel at ease and included, Max always made you feel like he wanted you to be there and to be having as much fun as he was. of course, he succeeded every time.

After the boys went travelling and then on to university I saw a lot less of Max, but even when he wasn't there you always knew that come Christmas eve or new years, him and the boys would be back, ready to party and bringing the Hampstead crew together again. I think that this Christmas in particular made me realise how lucky I was to be apart of such an amazing and secure group of friends back home. Max organised the new years celebrations and in true Max style brought everyone together for a perfect evening.

Thinking back to it now though it just makes you realise how blissfully naive we all were, it never seemed imaginable that this could happen to someone who was as widely admired and loved as Max was. Its like a new door has been opened and on the other side nothing feels quite the same. I can't imagine how hard the last month must have been for those lucky enough to have been fully a part of Max's life, his qualities were those that many of us could only ever aspire to or wish for in a friend. It hurt so much not being able to attend the funeral and be there with the people who knew Max and feel how huge this loss is, but in a way I don't ever want to say goodbye to max, instead I want to remember him exactly the way he was when I last saw him; giving a huge hug, a cheeky smile, with endless warmth and energy.

My thoughts are with everyone who had the privilege of knowing Max, he was never just a name or someone who people vaguely knew but instead he always took the time to become a friend and I'm just so thankful for each of the happy memories he's given me. He was a true legend and I will never forget him.

Missing you always Max.

All My Love,

Charlotte x x x

Words from Rosy's flatmate Cat

The following words were given to me by my flatmate Cat. I don't know who wrote them originally.

You can shed tears that he is gone
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he's gone
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Photos from the funeral

Steve Warshal took some pictures at the funeral and at Astons.

Has anyone got any pictures of the procession around the park?

Waterfall man

Here is MaxieBoy perched on the edge of a waterfall in Laos. It's called the Kwang-Si waterfalls, and was in a national park in Luang Prabang, near the north. It was SICK!! It had loads of tiers, all going down from the top and the water was this kind of disney blue that you can see. It was proper unbelievable and Max LOVED it. It is here that Max made O jump first from this huge mythical jump that they managed to find while me, Louis, Dash, Rosie, Elleanor and Anna, chilled at a small clearing. We had been travelling for nearly two months and all felt like we knew the ways of the world and what was going on (it happens to most first time travellers i think...it's called poncey-traveller-know-it-all-syndrome) but Max turned into the little kid who got so excited about football, computer games, sweeties and now waterfalls. He had found these waterfalls and couldn't get over how beautiful and peacefull they were. So happy and content this picture suits him perfectly, and just in the same way he was always the last to leave the park/football pitch ("just one last touch, one more") he was also the last to leave this place.

From Lesley Ferris in Columbus Ohio

Thinking about Max…..

My family moved from Queens Park in August of 1990. One of the things we knew we would miss the most was our friends in Queens Park. On numerous occasions when we made short visits to London we stayed in Queens Park with the O’Connell’s who always welcomed us. Max’s warm, quizzical, trickster presence was such a part of our time in London—and will always be so.

He retained that wonderful smile he had as a young child, which spoke of secret knowing: a smile that was crooked and upturned at the same time. Once he went to Newcastle, he entertained us with stories of the students there. He did a certain accent of the moneyed class that had us all in stitches laughing.

One of my fondest memories, however, was one of our theatre trips. Seamus organized a trip to the Drill Hall to see an alternative opera based on the legend of Gilgamesh. Rachel and Amie must have been away to university, because Max and Phoebe went with the two sets of parents. I remember clearly that Phoebe and Max sat behind us against a wall in the theatre space. They were both young teens and still at an age when they would go along with the parents.

Seamus had an enthusiasm in attending alternative opera and we were all up for joining in. Very shortly after the performance began, the actors appeared completely naked prancing across the floor like horses. There were perhaps 10 of them. It seemed to be out of the blue and in many ways did not make sense in terms of the production—but all I could think of was that Max and Phoebe were sitting together behind us watching which must have been for them a most embarrassing moment: with parents and a large group of naked actors in very close proximity as the space was intimate. Sitting out in the theatre lobby at the interval I remember all of us laughing at the absurdity of it all.

Max

I knew Max for many years and in varying degrees. When we were really young, we played together and whilst I've always been rubbish at football but I could whip his arse on the NES! Even though our houses are practically opposite one another's, we lost touch as we went off to different schools and I didn't see him for ages. As "grown ups", we knew each other and were matey, but he was a closer friend to my sister.

The turnout at Astons was showed just how much impact Max had upon the area and its people. The range of people was great, and the vibe was too. It's a true testament to his character and spirit that the wake was the buzzing laugh he would have wanted, rather than doom and gloom.

I can see now that he was equally pivotal to people's lives in Newcastle and Spain, but I'm only really qualified to talk about Queens Park.

The area is a funny place; it gave us a unique childhood which I think most young people can testify to and an affinity within itself which I can't imagine anywhere else in London. There's that persistent, comforting magnetism that pulls s back year after year; park summers, Corrib Christmases and shit New Years at The Long Room. Something in the water which seemed to have all of our parents giving birth between 1980 and 1985, with everyone and their siblings destined to be mates. Us private school lot dumping our poncey mates to hang out with our primary school peeps again…

It's our little idyllic village hidden away in the metropolis – and with the park right at its spiritual heart – only it was Max there with a football instead of cricket on the village green.

The park was clearly Max's stomping ground and nowhere could be more fitting for a tribute to him. Be it birds, beers, blazing or footy, just as he was the epicentre of so many people's lives and friendships, the park provided the backdrop every time.

He was instrumental to the lifeblood of the area and although missed, I can't see how he'd ever be forgotten… as I for one look forward to one day cotching on the Max bench!

Peace,
Cayal (Mathura) xxx

PS My sister Maya is also devastated to have missed Saturday and to not be able to be with her friends during this time. Cayal

An Ethos for us all

LIVE LIFE TO THE MAX.

Max

hello

my name is James i go out with Ellie from Hampsted school

even though i hadn't known him that long he really compared to a lot of his friends

i felt i should share one of his many acts of kindest he showed to me

he is someone i will never forget.

I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you and your famerly

James

------------------------------------------Blog------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I first met Max in the William pub when i first started going out with Ellie about 2 and bit years ago,

I could never quite believe how big the circle of friends was,

and had been to a few parties and nights out meeting an intirely different set of Friends each time,

i was a bit intimidated when i discovered a new lot to meet.

Max spoke to me stright anyway and we had a great laugh until closing, i don't think i spoke to Ellie the whole night.

from then on he was one of those people you loved

always smiling always laughing

and when i think of Max that is all i can see

I just wish i had known him longer

but that was what Max was all about

after five minutes in his presence you felt you known him all your life

He truly was a beautiful person in every way

and i am so glad i got the chance to know him

James

From Holly

Despite having fancied Max from afar since school when me and my friends used to watch all the older boys play football in the back cage, I can only say I've known him for the past few months. It's strange because it feels so much longer.

The first time I saw Max when he came back from Spain for Christmas I was at a party with my girlfriends. Max, Louis and Owen all bowled in after having been out at some club. Everyone was in a wicked mood and despite not knowing most of the people there we somehow managed to make the party all about us lot, bombarding the house with our Hampstead cockiness and causing havoc. The house had a huge collection of novelty teapots and I remember Max hurtling down the stairs and being amazed that nothing smashed. It was so much fun just being silly with Max, running around causing mischief but getting away with it because of his cheeky grin that made everyone instantly forgive him. I remember him running into the living room at one point and shouting that everyone hated him because he had pulled a girl that, unbeknown to him, he shouldn't have, then laughing and starting a play fight instead. That ended in him rugby tackling me onto a sofa, smacking my head on it and then feeling terrible about it for the rest of the holidays. I wasn't angry though, and we just ended up play fighting again later in the kitchen, knocking over empty wine bottles as he effortlessly put me on the floor squirming. We were the last ones at that party, as tended to be the way when you spent a night with Max. I remember him telling us that we were wicked girls and we all needed to go out together more often. I'm so happy that we actually made the effort to do that this Christmas, there seeming to be a party every few days giving us all an excuse to meet up and make memories that are now so valuable.

New Year's stands out, a night of pure madness with Max right at the centre of it, bouncing between friends and sweating it up to drum and bass in the basement of 333. We wouldn't have even been there if it hadn't have been for Max's powers of persuasion and his campaign to get everyone possible to come to Hoxton Apocalypse to see 2006 begin together. The night was like a rollercoaster ride of different bars, parties, houses, cabs. And everyone was so happy to be together, spending time with good people who appreciate each other. I'm so glad that everyone appreciated Max while he was here, I don't think a single person could not be charmed by him. By the end of the night we had ended up at Dash's house and whilst I was spinning out due to the night's excesses, Max was still going, up for it, sipping his champagne, calling Isaac in America, rushing around the kitchen until Murphy jumped up on him and left paw prints all over his new stripy jumper. Everyone else was shattered, trying to hold it together and not doing very well. Max was ready for more. It really doesn't feel right that there isn't going to be so much more of Max.

I can't believe he's not going to be coming back this Easter. So much everyone thought was possible has now been cut so short. It's so hard to understand. I don't want to believe that I won't see his grin or his curly head of hair coming towards me ever again. That's just too much. Max wrote 'hay que seguir tranquilo y veremos lo que pasa' in a recent email - 'we must remain calm and see what happens'. He said it didn't make any sense, probably so I wouldn't bother to translate it, but I think it makes perfect sense and am now trying to take his words on board to deal with all this. I suppose that's one of the most frustrating things: he is the only person I have really wanted to speak to throughout the last month.

I'm so thankful for the stolen moments I had with Max, for the way he made me feel, and for his honesty. As so many people have said, although he was always centre-stage at big nights out, there was definitely a much softer side to be seen. You could see him get lost in his head, anxious and vulnerable. When I asked him where he went he smiled and came back, asking me how I could see what he was thinking. I couldn't see what he was thinking but I could see his uncertainty. He said that what he liked about me is that I know what I want. Now I can't have what I want I don't feel like I know anything at all. His honesty is not something that you find often. It is not something I will be able to get over losing.

Thank you to the whole Queen's Park community that has expanded so much over the last month to embrace everyone who loved Max. The support has been amazing and will continue to keep everyone going, I'm sure. And thank you to Max for being an absolute gem, beautiful and lovely and so alive that I can still see you and hear you and feel you when I close my eyes.

Un beso grandissimo para ti! Mwah! Holly xxx

Max

I met Max I think it was about in year 9 at Hampstead school, he was one of ‘the boys in the year above’ along with Louis, Izacc, Owen etc, and all the girls had something charming to say about him. We always wished that the guys in our year would be more like Max, he always had a smile, a moment to talk and to listen.

As the years went on and we all got older, I was lucky enough to get to know Max a bit better and the smiles that he had never seemed to run out. He would smile and you would smile.

I remember one of the first times I went out in Queens Park with the gang, I was nervous because I wasn’t sure if I would be accepted into their ‘family’ - and that’s what it was and still is - I have always admired the love that Max and his friends have for one another - so close, and so lovely. Anyways, when I got to the Irish, Max was the first to make me feel welcome and introduced me properly to Anna, Rosy, Ellie and the rest and I will never forget that. Nor the summer days in Queens Park with Katie watching the boys play football, nor the house parties where Max would be the most lively for sure - always checking you were having a good time. A greeting always beginning with ‘Yes Esmay’ (or whoever he was talking to!) made you instantly feel positive and welcome.

My thoughts are with all of his close friends and his family who knew him so so well, I would have liked to get to know Max better but I am grateful that I knew him as I did, we can all learn from his friendliness and it will not be forgotten.

The last time I saw Max was in the good ol Black Lion in West Hampstead on Christmas eve, where he seemed happy and content, he was enjoying uni and life. A text on Christmas day, where he said he was stuffed and feelin nicely merry ended with ‘hope to c u soon.’ It saddens me to think that this never happened, but I am sure that where ever he is, he is still lighting up a room with his persona, having good ol chats and keeping the party going.

With love,
Esmay xxxxxx

From Laomie

Hi, my name is Laomie Walker.

I think I've known Max for as long as I can remember back. We were never close friends but knew eachother for ages from Salusbury school and Queens Park. Both my parents, me and my brother all remember Max as 'the nicest guy in Queens Park.' Such a cool, laid back and friendly guy. I just feel so so so sad for his lovely parents, Victoria and Seamus, and of course his crew- Owen, Louie, Ize and Dash. Max will be missed by everyone that ever knew him because he genuinely touched people with his upbeat, funny and stoned character.

Max, we will always remember you.

Laomie and Family.x

The Max Blogspot

I have been reading some of the moving tributes to Max over the last week onthe blogspot. Only remembering him as a playful and exuberant child it hasfilled in the gaps over the last 15 years or so. It's impressive the manyfriends he had and that he lived life to the full. As a long time Spurssupporter I felt a real connection seeing the picture of him in his Spursshirt and an identical shirt is hanging in my room here with Klinsmann 33 onthe back. An important evening game v West Brom is being played on Mondaynight at White Hart Lane and it will good to remember him then as a fellowSpur and from what I've read on the blog a lover of "the beautiful game".My thoughts are with you all for tomorrow.

Chris Morphet

From PeD in San Francisco

Back in the day, one of my favourite things to do on a first or second date, was to bring my latest future-ex-girlfriend to Queen's Park. At the time, I used it as a cunning ploy, or so I thought, to impress my unsuspecting bird with my sense of community, my love for football and my love for the outdoors. "We usually play here but in the summer they make us play behind the Band Stand". I'd reminisce about great football matches we'd had and point to the spot where they took place. More often than not, we'd bump into someone I knew and they'd take a break from the football to have a chat. Max met his share and would wonder, weeks later, why I’d dumped them so suddenly.

Anyway… I, too, remember the first time I met Max. Not surprisingly, it was in a football match in the south end of the park (I can point to the exact spot), in late Spring. Years later, over a pint at the Irish, when the subject came up over how long we'd all known each other, Max recited the first words I ever said to him. When we met, he had a habit of taking on half the opposing team only to lose the ball right at the end. My words were: "If you pass the ball, I'll pass it back and you'll score every time". He said that this jewel of advice had stuck with him over the years though, thankfully, for those of us who like to watch football wizardry, Max had many moments of forgetfulness.

Max's passing has made me think about more than a few things. Above all, that Max was the quintessential Queen's Parker. For years, a generation of die hard football fans were blind to issues that would otherwise have formed even the smallest of barriers (race, class, football teams, gender [remember Rachel Yankee?], football skills ..) because we just wanted to play together. Max seemed to live his entire life finding common ground rather than seeing differences. The huge turnout in this blog reflects this and I believe many of us will have looked in envy at that beautiful virtue.

What kind of person would I be had my house been 2 miles away? I daren't think about it.

Finally, I would like to thank all our parents, who, whether by sheer luck, or never-ending love and commitment (though probably a bit of both), have forged a community of good-natured, grounded individuals. We are truly fortunate and honoured. (Steve W. thanks for your words!)

Thank you so much. And thank you for Max. And thank you for so many other people that I can't list for fear of missing someone out.

I can't put to words how it burns that I can't make it tomorrow. My thoughts will be with all of you.

If you don't mind, I've attached an abridged version of a recent hurried email (minus expletives) to Dec.

Love you Max, you're in all of us.

Pedro.

+++++++++++++

A few years ago (yikes at least 4-5 years ago, before he went up north) Max gave me a buzz to go to the Corrib for a drink. Back then we would hang out every now and then to catch up on things so it wasn’t unusual that we’d meet up.There was some drama going on at home with his sister and his folks so we were chatting about it over a couple of pints & stuff. We also spoke about how things were with his girlfriend (Rosy) and how they were going to put things on the backburner because they were going to be apart, but that they really liked each other. Just life stuff, right? But it was amazing how mature he was under those circumstances.

Anyway, so we had a couple of pints and as I was about to get up to get the next round he stopped me and said “Ped. I know. And it’s cool.” Of course, I let out a nervous laugh wondering what the **** I was going to say to that. I felt a mixture of embarrassment (that I didn’t have the guts that he did) and surprise but not nerves. I almost said “what you on about?” but knew (and so would he) that I’d only be insulting his intelligence. Besides, he’d just stuck his neck out for me. All I said was something like “I better get those pints then”. I got the pints and he told me how I shouldn’t be worried about telling people in the park etc.

I dunno why I’m telling you this. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really told anyone about it even though it was a really important moment for me. Or perhaps it was because it was a moment that made me realize that our connections now transcend much more than just football @ the park. I mean, that’s why we still talk right?

Max didn’t have to say anything, and we really don’t have to make an effort to hang out & catch up. But we do.

So for the record, if you ever need anything, say.

PeD

+++++++++++++

From Isabel May

Dear Victoria, Seamus and Rachel

I have been reading this site everyday now since Alex told me it was up and running. What it makes me realise is that that Max a warm, caring, generous, funny, charming man - as he was when I knew him best as a little (and sometimes really annoying!) boy and a good friend of my younger brother Alex.

I am sorry that I did not come to know Max as a grown up but I am glad that I knew him at all.

The overriding memory I have is of him and Alex trying to crush Rachel and I in this sofa we had at our home in Brooksville Avenue that was designed a bit like a sandwich. It would always start out as a bit of an older sister/younger brother battle and within 5 minutes descend into a disaster with everyone screaming and then all would go back to normal – Rachel and I drawing something and Alex and Max setting up epic battles or racing tracks in Alex’s bedroom.

Max was a major part of my childhood memories of Queens Park, of the boys and their football teams, the crazy golf course, the Saturday afternoons spent at Rachel’s and those memories would not be the same without him.

I am so, so sorry that this has happened and I am thinking of you all.

Isabel x

Emotivo homenaje a Max O`Connell

09/03/2006

La Facultad de Filosofía y Letras, lugar en el que estudiaba, fue el escenario en el que se desarrolló ayer un sentido, sencillo y emotivo homenaje al estudiante británico del programa Erasmus-Sócrates, Max O`Connell, procedente de la Universidad de Newcastle Upon Tyne, fallecido la pasada semana en un trágico accidente.

Más de 200 personas, la mayoría de ellos compañeros de Max O`Connell participaron en un acto, en el que además de autoridades académicas encabezadas por el Vicerrector de Alumnos, David Almorza Gomar, la Directora de la Oficina de Relaciones Internacionales, Laura Howard y el Decano de la Facultad de Filosofía y Letras, Manuel Arcila Garrido, se encontraban también los padres y la hermana del finado.

El Decano de la Facultad, en su alocución inicial manifestó el dolor de todo el centro y de la Universidad de Cádiz en pleno, por este fallecimiento, un estudiante de la Facultad a todos los efectos y miembro de la Comunidad Universitaria de la UCA. Compañeros y profesores de Max, hicieron una semblanza de su persona. Entre ellos, su amiga y compañera Jo Kiely, quien muy emocionada relató a los presentes los grandes valores que poseía. Su buen talante, su disposición siempre a la ayuda del compañero, su amabilidad, su interés en aprender y perfeccionarse. Pidió en esta intervención que se le recordara lleno de vida, con el espíritu positivo que lo caracterizo, jugando al fútbol, o en las fiestas y alegre como él era.

Igualmente, intervino el padre del estudiante fallecido, Seamus O´Connell que se encontraba acompañado de su esposa, Victoria y de la hermana de Max, Rachel. En nombre de la familia y muy emocionado manifestó que de igual manera que se encuentran llenos de dolor, “nos sentimos muy confortados por el apoyo y las muestras de cariño que recibimos por parte de quienes han sido compañeros de nuestro hijo. Sabemos que nuestro hijo vivirá también en la memoria de todos vosotros que le habéis tratado en esta etapa de vida en Cádiz, donde el ha sido feliz”.

Una salva de aplausos de todos los presentes, puso fin a este sencillo acto de homenaje a la memoria de Max O`Connell.

http://www.uca.es/web/internacional/noticias/nt_2006_03_09_01

Translation:

Emotional tribute to Max O’Connell

The Faculty of Philosophy and Letters, where he studied, was the site of a heartfelt, simple and emotional tribute to a British student enrolled in the Erasmus-Socrates program, visiting us from the University of Newcastle upon Tyne, who died last week in a tragic accident.

More than 200 persons, many of them classmates of Max O’Connell, participated in a ceremony at which many faculty members, led by Vice Rector of Students David Almorza Gomar, the Director of the Office of International Relations Laura Howard, and the Dean of the Faculty of Philosophy and Letters Manuel Arcila Garrido, were joined by the deceased’s parents and his sister.

The Dean of Faculty, in his opening remarks, expressed the sadness felt by all at the Universidad de Cádiz for the loss of one who was considered one of the University’s own students and who had become a member of the community at UCA. Max’s classmates and professors spoke about his character. Among them was his friend and classmate Jo Kiely, who in an emotional tenor related to everyone the greatness he possessed in character. His cheerful manner, always disposed to help his classmates, his amicability, his interest in learning and improving. She asked at this gathering that he be remembered as one who was full of life, with a positive spirit that was such a part of his character, playing football or at parties and happy, as was his nature.

Likewise spoke the deceased students’ father, Seamus O’Connell, accompanied by his wife Victoria, and Max’s sister Rachel. On behalf of the family, he expressed that despite the pain the family feels at their loss, “We feel very comforted by the support and the expressions of kindness we’ve received on the part of those who knew our son. We know that our son will also live in the memory of all of you who have known him during his time in Cádiz, where he was happy to be.”

An emotional round of applause from all those present brought to a close this tribute to the memory of Max O’Connell.