Thinking about Max

It's very true that now it has come to this time in the year I think of Max all the time. I find myself thinking and almost reliving the day in which I found out. I remember every detail like it was yesterday. The shock, the disbelief, thinking it was some horrible sick joke, the sadness and then the gradual realization of what this would mean for so many people - the incredible number of people that would be so devastated by this and how life for so many would never really be the same. Thinking about that day fills me with grief and sadness but thinking about Max can only really make me smile.

I think about him in the year room, at the pub, on the doorstep of the Deli in Queen's Park, in the park, in the bottom of his garden, at Rosy's house, at Anna's house, in the Long Room, in the Irish, in his kitchen, the list is endless. Lately I have found myself thinking about a particular memory over and over again.

It was four years ago on our gap year travels, we were in Malaysia (Perinthian Island), I was strolling to the sea on the most beautiful white beach. It was about half past eight in the morning. It was boiling and I was grumpy as I had about three hours sleep because it was just too hot - I was walking to the sea to cool off. I remember looking down the beach and about ten yards away there was a blond haired boy, looking slightly sunburned and a bit pissed off. He seemed to be really struggling with his massive rucksack in the sand that was sinking under his feet, concentrating on each step and looking down, he didn’t notice me. ‘Max!’ I screamed. He looked up and after he had thrown his bag on the ground, we laughed and hugged and jumped about.

We marveled at how amazing it was that we had managed to find each other on the most beautiful beach. The last time we had seen each other had been on a cold winter's night, pale and wrapped up outside a pub in West Hampstead and now here we were. Rosy was further behind him, then Anna, then Ellie. They were exhausted after traveling a long while but everyone was tanned, happy and full of the traveling spirit. From then on, for me, traveling just got better and better as we were all together (Max, Louis, Isaac, Owen, Dash, Rosy, Anna, Ellie, Me, Lucy and more…) for some parts, then apart, then would meet up again in different parts of Asia. Endless days of lounging around on beaches where the main activity seemed to be eating and playing cards, with a little bit of swimming in between. Looking back especially in the light of what has happened now it was blissful untouched paradise.

I remember Max never leaving Rosy's side when she had a stomach bug in Bali, reading to her and bringing her food etc. I remember the big meal we had before Ellie and Anna were heading for Australia, we waited about two hours for food and were so hungry we all ate in silence. I remember Max arguing with Eleanor at about seven in the morning on the way to another boat, they were discussing this Bob Marley song, they were both getting equally agitated and in the end were both wrong! I remember hilarious cab journeys where Max would take charge, sit in the front and talk to the driver all the way home, everyone in the back half listening and a bit monged out. I remember arranging to meet in Regent's Park for this mini free festival the summer before last, we shared a bottle of red wine and danced in the middle of the day in a boiling tent - I remember being so pleased to see him as it had been ages and the day was so great.

So many funny little thoughts that more often that than not have me smiling or laughing out loud. I want to keep thinking of all these things, all these things that made Max one of the most charming people I will ever know, funny, smart good-looking, unique and terribly missed by so many.

Chloe