As many readers of this blog will know, the Max O'Connell Cup took place on Saturday 8th August 2006. The event, played in honour of Max’s footballing memory, was a great success with five different teams from the Queen’s Park area taking part.
The worthy winners of the tournament were the All-Stars, who beat the Bearded Monkeys 2-1 in the final. The tournament was fiercely contested, with the football on show being of a particularly high standard. For those of you who are interested, info relating to the tournament, including photos and match information, can be found at the end of this post.
Max loved playing football while other people loved playing football with him. He was well-respected as a footballer of genuine skill and was looked up to by both his team mates and those who played against him. He was of course a ‘Legend’ and will never be replaced or forgotten. It is testament to his personality both as a footballer and as a friend that so many people turned up to honour such an important part of his life.
Thank you to everyone who turned up and participated in the event. A special thank you to Victoria and Seamus, who generously provided the champagne for the Player of Tournament Award, and to Louis who managed to get everyone to turn up.
Please look out for postings next year for news about the Max O’Connell Cup 2007.
Josh
The Winners
The Teams…
Queen’s Park
The Bearded Monkeys
The All Stars
Total Football
North Pad Old Boys
Results…
Game 1
| Total Football - 0 | All Stars - 3 |
| | Ryan (2), David |
Game 2
| North Pad Old Boys - 1 | The Bearded Monkeys - 2 |
| Chris | Tom (2) |
Game 3
| Total Football - 2 | Queen’s Park - 1 |
| Alex, OG | Dom |
Game 4
| All Stars - 2 | The Bearded Monkeys - 1 |
| Ryan (2) | Mikey |
Game 5
| North Pad Old Boys - 1 | Queen’s Park - 0 |
| Nicky | |
Game 6
| Total Football - 1 | The Bearded Monkeys - 2 |
| Scott | Tom (2) |
Game 7
| North Pad Old Boys - 0 | The All Stars - 3 |
| | George, Darren, Charlie |
Game 8
| The Bearded Monkeys - 2 | Queen’s Park - 2 |
| Mikey (2) | Dash, Joe |
Game 9
| Total Football - 6 | North Pad Old Boys - 2 |
| Scott (3), Alex (2), Sam | Jack (2) |
Game 10
| Queen’s Park - 2 | The All Stars - 0 |
| Louis, Theo | |
| Queen’s Park - 2 | Total Football - 2 |
| Louis, Theo | Scott, Alex |
Queen’s Park won on penalties
Final
| The Bearded Monkeys - 1 | All Stars - 2 |
| Mikey | Charlie, George |
Tournament Summaries…(please add your own)
Every team performed to a high level yet the results don’t reflect the true guile and quality of the performances of the real champions that day. Please take a moment and think back to the masterful display of the peoples favourite. QP, notoriously slow starters, were on the verge of self-destruct, heads down, confidence at an all time low then forward stepped the talisman, Mr Watson, to take the reins and awake the sleeping giant!?
Callum
Hero is a word that is banded about too often. With the wind in their hair, the QP heroes took to the field with an obvious player down. The oooh’s and aaah’s could be heard from the crowd, as QP dazzled with purpose, vigour, and flare, like the noise at a fire works display. After beating the overall winners and drawing with bitter rivals Bearded Monkeys, QP showed who were the real winners.
Owen
Player of the Tournament…
Tom Quested
Top Scorers…
| Player | Team | Goals |
| Scott | Total Football | 5 |
| Ryan | The All Stars | 4 |
| Tom | The Bearded Monkeys | 4 |
| Mikey | The Bearded Monkeys | 4 |
All jokes and biased opinions aside, thanks to everyone for turning up and making it a memorable day. This tournament is something Max always wanted to organise but unfortunately it never quite came about, although he did come close a couple of years ago. He and Josh spent weeks and countless phone calls putting together a small tournament in Hampstead Heath but the night before continued a little longer than planned with most of our team ending up at the bottom of Max’s garden at around eight in the morning discussing tactics and drinking Pimms, prepared by Max and with all the trimmings of course, which was followed by a bottle of red wine. I remember seeing Seamus and Victoria coming down for breakfast just as we were leaving. After a bit of a nap we made our way down there, a few hours late and not quite at full fitness, but by the time we actually found it, about another hour or so later, everyone else had pretty much had enough. We did manage a game, which I think was one of the rare occasions the older lot got the better of us. So for the tournament to come together like this was a truly apt tribute to his memory and something I hope will continue and maybe even grow in the next few years. Hope to see all you
Louis
(Jay, Ize, Max, O, Paul Summers)
(Back: Lou, O, Dash, Ize. Front: Hugh, Max)
I wanted to post this, because while browsing a friends website (Maya, who's living in San Diego at the moment and misses everyone) I came across this picture of Max that needed to be shared, up a tree at the back of the garden. He'd raced Seb up there, and as you can see by Seb's feet, Max lost the race. It was a really hot day as well, we'd had a barbeque on the patio. Yet another memory of laughs and giggles in Max's saturating presence.
Love J.
From Josh Mendelsohn:
On Saturday 8th July the Max O’Connell Cup will be played at Westway Sports Centre between 1 and 7 pm.
Note the new time - one hour later.
The tournament will be played between 5 teams who either played with or played against Max over the years, either in Queen’s Park or at school, etc. Each team will play 4 games each, with the top two teams going through to a final. The winners will be awarded the Max O’Connell Cup and have their team name engraved on the trophy. There will also be additional prizes and a 'Max of the Day' award for the player of the tournament.
We are hoping that the tournament will become an annual event to honour Max’s footballing memory, so please make sure you’re there to support your team and the event. The tournament takes place a day before England feature in the World Cup Final so everyone should be suitably in the mood to enjoy the football on show. Come along and bring the noise!
The five teams that will feature are listed below:
Magnum Force Six
The Bearded Monkeys
North Pad Old Boys
Dave Stars
Team 5 (Team Name TBC)
If anyone would like to contribute to the event in anyway please feel free to email or call myself or Louis. All contributions would be greatly appreciated.
Josh 07976 917 140
Louis 07947 449 584
Please see below for a link to Westway Sports Centre and how to get there. Please note that the tournament will be played on the Astro-turfed 6 a-side pitch and NOT the concrete pitches which are located elsewhere. As it's an Astro-turf pitch, moulds or trainers are fine but studs are not permitted.
The aftermath of his death and the funeral was a hard and sad time, however, many people naturally filtered back to their lives and got on with things. I knew the arrival of summer would make me more aware of his absence. I can't walk past or through the park without conjuring him in my head.
I walk past the end of his road and think of conversations we had about the funny gas smell on 'our' corner of the park. I ring on Zara's (and Ize's) doorbell and wait to see any combination of the Ize, Max, Owen, Louis, Dash crew lounging in the kitchen. I lie on the grass by the bandstand and wait for the game of kick ups to begin.
For me Max is part of the furniture, like the bandstand itself. Always there, part of the scenery of our sunny special park. He's just the person you want to bump into when you cruise past the Salusbury to see if anyone else is floating around. You're guaranteed an enlightening, entertaining and enthusiastic conversation even if you hadn't seen him in months.
I miss the huge park gatherings that haven't really happened so far this summer. I can't help but wonder how much that is to do with his absence. The post World Cup kickabouts lack a certain flair that even I, a strict observer can detect.
I've got a picture of Max, Rosy, Anna, Eleanor and Lelia in the park about 4 years ago. There we are, in one of the many combinations of Parkers just being together on the grass, waiting for something or nothing to happen.
I try my best to imagine that Max is still there, lounging, smiling and interacting with whoever is in earshot.
x
Millie
I am Sandar, Isaac’s mum. Ize is one of The Boys and I am one of The Mums. We have been growing up with each other for many years.
I enjoyed being part of them in my role as chauffeur, mean mummy, or cheer leader. Isaacowenmaxdashandlouis was a five headed being which roamed around
Max was in a group of boys who were his equal. He was loved and loved in return openly and unreservedly. When Max was too wilful, they tempered him. When they were too reticent, he encouraged them. When the five boys were in the house I would hear their constant teasing and joking. They might be watching telly or playing video games but one could still hear Owen’s wise-guy cracks, Max’s wacky observations, Dash’s caustic take, Louis’s quiet comment, or Ize's sensible remark. The boys were lucky to have found each other and as the years went on, they knew it.
The Mums became friends as well. We ferried the boys to playgroup, dropped them off for parties or play after school. We arranged half-term visits and holidays together. We performed at school events as The Housewives from Hell and gained quite a reputation as embarrassing mums. We put them on the bus to Gordon Brown, the ski trips, the gap year, and slowly we too were woven into the fabric of the community of Boys. We are all so mixed up that my love for Isaac overlaps with my love for them all. I didn’t even realise this was happening.
I miss Max. His lanky droll manner, his twinkling eyes, his slightly nasal voice, his sweetness and vulnerability. I remember his steady progression from a boy who was adorable but slightly maddening to one who was witty and lovely. I remember chats in the kitchen when Max was worried or dejected about life. He was so open and real about his concerns. I remember leading the boys somewhere when they were little and Max as usual was ambling behind the group, amiable and absorbed. “Get with the program, Max”, I would shout and he’d quicken his pace, for a moment.
At the big football match for Max a friend explained to me why Max was such a good footballer. He said that most people played by strategic rules but Max played by Freedom.
I have found Max’s death to be unbearable. Tears are liable to well up in my eyes at anytime and catch me by surprise. I know that our memories will be forever divided between when Max was alive and After Max died. He couldn’t have imagined such a thing.
I am greatly helped by our mutual support. We stand together like musk ox taking the cruel winter blast of death - dumb but strengthened by the herd. Is this what will make it bearable? Is this what will carry us through the next year? It is so early and we all have so much further to go. However, I am comforted by the love and care Max gave and got. Reading your memories and stories helps me see Max again and know him a bit better.
The last time I saw Max, I was passing his house, he was in his front bedroom. He had been over the night before to say goodbye, so he had obviously missed his plane. He looked out, shrugged, and we both blew extravagant kisses to each other. My goodbye, it turned out, was joyous and ridiculous and spontaneous. Quite fitting for this wonderful guy.
Love, Sandar
I oscillate between two feelings: unbearable pain and numbness (occasionally interspersed with moments of hysterical laughter). There is a need to numb the pain because it gets too much to bear. But then when you’re numb you feel like you’re not in touch with his death, like it’s not real, or like Max is not real, and then you get terrified that you’re accepting the fact that Max is dead, that Max being dead is going to become normal, and Max being alive is a thing of the past. And then you think of him being alive, when you were with him, saw him, heard him, touched him. And then you can’t believe that HE is actually DEAD. Then you cry and cry and scream at him through the walls and beat your fists into the furniture and ask the ceiling ‘Why?’ But you never get an answer. And you can’t believe you won’t see or hear from him ever again. That no-one will. And for the rest of all our lives Max will always be dead. Then life looks really long and hard and bleak and you long for the ache to go away for a while.
So you get up, you go somewhere, you do something, you see someone, something makes you smile. And the pain is numbed. And the numbness feels ok for a while. And pretty soon the periods of numbness get longer and the periods of twisting agony get further apart. And soon you start to actually enjoy doing the other, not Max-related things, when you’re not thinking about Max for a while. When you’re not thinking about the fact that he’s actually dead. Or about his parents who’ve lost their son; or his sister who is now an only child; or the friends who knew him since they were tiny and expected always to know him; or the others who all thought of Max as one of their best friends because he had the time for them; or the girl he was seeing who really thought a lot of him and now thinks of him even more; or about yourself and what you’ve lost, what you shared together for so many years, how you helped to make each other, how you sometimes became confused because you couldn’t tell where you ended or where he began, how he cared so much about you and now there’s so much of you he’ll never know; or about how he was so young and vibrant and would love to be alive right now, just like he used to be; or about how his death is such a waste of life.
You don’t think about all these sad, sad things for a while. For a minute, an hour, a few hours, a day, a few days. Until the next time it hits you or washes over you. And then you think about all the sad things that come from Max dying. And even if it’s been a couple of days since you really, really thought about it, it still hurts just as much, but you’re glad that it hurts you so. Because if you hurt this much then you know that he was real, and that you loved him, and that you shared so much life together, and that he must have lived, before he died.
Rosy
My name's Jo and I was part of the close-knit group in Cadiz. I've been thinking a lot of Max lately, especially as the seasons are definitely changing, and I can't help but think that here in Cadiz, this was what we were waiting for...beach life. However, with Max not here to enjoy it, life has taken a turn and it's not how we expected it to be. It's also such a shame, as Max was one of the people who appreciated the scenery and laid back lifestyle here the most. His flat was also directly opposite a gorgeous beach, so we used to hang out there everyday, mainly to facilitate his totty spotting. During the winter months I used to get a morning weather update from Max via text to let me know "it's blazin' mate, get over here on the terrace for some tanning and Spanish grammar" - well he certainly knew how to make learning the subjunctive tense a lot more appealing! He always said he couldn't wait for the summer and he, Steph and I had planned to stay here for the summer together and it's such a shame that he won't be here with us.
Max was always the one to make the most of a situation or moment, which is one of the things I loved the most about him...he made everything fun! I remember the day after my 21st birthday party, Max, Steph and I met up to re-run the night's events, and as a result of the stonking hangovers, Steph and I would've been more than content to sit back and chill at his with cups of tea and nibbling his endless supply of white choc with smarties inside, but Max had other plans and said we couldn't head home until we'd explored all the backstreets of Cadiz. Steph and I always say what a fun day this was, especially the kiddies park! Max wasn't even deterred by the rain, and insisted on walking at least half the way back to take in the views. A true positivist until the end!
Despite Max's admirable ability to find something to do out of nothing, as many people have written on this blog, the thing I miss the most is doing nothing in particular with Max; just hanging out at his, making random, yet interesting converstion around the kitchen whilst cooking, and his good ear and honest advice. We'd often sit around and cook together in his kitchen, but beforehand there would always be the eternal argument over which music to cook to - he assumed that I, being a girl from Watford would love his Garage music, but he was wrong, so we'd hussle over songs until always agreeing on Ray Charles, The Pharcyde or Beats Assailant 'Dirty Dozen', and Max was the only other person I knew who also knew the last listed song, so I always used to put it on in the bar I DJ at when he walked in, which was swiftly followed by "Yes Jo". I miss seeing those curly blonde locks strolling in the bar, but whenever I hear these songs I smile and think of him!
The other day my housemate Simon was playing old videos and I could hear Max's voice from my room. Hearing his voice made me realise even more how much I miss him, it made his absence more evident yet, and although it was painful to listen to, it was also lovely, as I could feel a little closer to him for a moment again and hold onto his voice and laughter and his silly jokes. That's also why I think this blog is such a good idea too, as you feel like you're keeping the legend of Maxieflash alive, so keep the stories flowing.
One last thing, I'm attemting to attach some photos with this blog, but I am terrible with computers, it they come out, there should be two of Max and I on the swings - he was attemting to do a perfect jump into the camera, but it didn't quite work out. There should also be another of Max with Fabien, a friend here in Cadiz, on my birthday. It was fancy dress and Max had come as a hip-hop ghetto boy so he was doing his take on that in the photo. And finally there's a photo that I took of him on his balcony...a typical day, which you all probably received in an email, we were just amazed at how "blazin'" it was so we took photos to send back in emails to make everyone envious of the weather. He said he would've given his friends a prize if anyone had worked out that the picture he sent, entitled 'sunrise' wasn't really sunrise (we were never up before 3pm) as the sun wouldn't have risen and set in the same place (sharp thinking lad).
Love to everyone,
Jo
my name is Simon, I was one of Max' good friends here in Cadiz. I've been wanting to write something to this blog for a long time now, but I just couldn't find the courage to do it. The last week it has become clear to me that there is still a lot of pain left in me and that I loved Max more then I ever imagined. I realised that last week, when I was going out, and I passed the place where he fell in the water, and I just started crying and had to go home after that. And then just now, as I was watching some video's I made earlier this year, my housemate (she knew Max very well too) bursted out in tears by hearing the sound of Max' voice. It was then I decided I had to write to this blog, and I felt guilty I hadn't done it before.
I, like all of the other Erasmus-students here in Cadiz, have only known Max for about 5 months, but that was enough time to see what a brilliant person he was. He became one of my best friends here, and together with the English we formed a group of friends that saw each other every day and over time became unseparable. We hung out together almost every night and it was us he was with on the night of the accident. That night was the turning point of this year, nothing has ever been the same after that. The first 5 months here have been the best of my life, and Max had a lot to do with that. He was always so full alive, always the one to cheer you up when you were feeling a bit down and always the one to give you that one great compliment that would make up for a bad day. I never thought I would miss this that much. I guess you always kind of take these things for granted until they're not there anymore. I wish now that I could have told him how much I appreciated his friendship and how big an aspect of this year he was for me. When I look back on this year in Cadiz now, with the end in sight, I split in up in 2 periods: there's the time I had with Max, and the time I had without him. I whish I could have known him forever!
My deepest sorry to the family and friends,
Simon Vandekerckhove
PS: This is a picture of me and Max in better times
hi,
my name is tom. i was a good friend of max's in
From Steph in
I spoke really briefly about my time with Max in
After the funeral I did go back to
I was flicking through photos and videos from February, and came across one from a friend's birthday party here. One I hadn't seen before. Anyway - It took a while to get started but then it focuses on Max (as usual he looks comfortable acting up to the camera, swearing in Spanish and with fag in hand.) Towards the end of the filming Max leans over and gives me a cuddle. I really miss those cuddles.
xxx steffy xxx
Without fail Max would always put a smile on my face and I'm sure many others, whatever mood I was in he managed to cheer me up. Turning up to work for the 15th day in a row for another 12 hour shift feeling a little weary, I would have Max bounding up to me saying "Alright mate," and I knew I would be in for a mischief filled evening. The last time I saw Max is a prime example, it was the last night at Christmas for Mecco and we were behind the bar and we had to fill glasses with ice, anyway needless to say, as Max was around it ended up as a massive ice fight which I lost!!
The photo above was another very amusing day with Max and Isaac, Max was very excited about the fact we got to dress up and not wear uniform for the day. He thought it might be another excuse to get us out of doing any work.
It's definitely fair to say that Max you will be massively missed by everyone, working at Mecco will never be the same again. But all your jokes and the fantastic memories you have given us will be with us forever.
All my love
Nat x x x
Max the only person I have ever met that after standing on his feet for 12 hours on about 5 hours sleep, with a bit of sore head would still have a big smile and a cuddle that never failed to cheer the recipient up!
I had the pleasure of working with Max at Mecco for the past couple of years and what a fun time its been. My fondest memory of Max would have to be when he, Isaac, Nat and I dressed up at Sailors at Proms in the park last summer. We looked absolutely ridiculous, which we tried to style out as reminiscent of a Jean Paul Gautier advert (Looking back Id say we looked more like a Primark advert now). Nat and I had so much make up on; it weighed our faces down and the most uncomfortable shoes. I remember as usual moaning for the better part of the night. But Max kept making us all laugh, with all of his sailor related puns and terrible singing of Queen, which was playing in the background.
I am also delighted to say we had a joke with the legend that is Bruce Forsyth. I think he said something along the lines of what time do we set sail? To which Max responded with a rather forced laugh, mainly due to the fact it was the 10th time we had heard it in 5 minutes and Max was annoyed someone stole his material.
Max reading all the comments your friends and family have written proves that even though you're no longer with us, all the stories, laughs and good times you have given us all will keep you alive forever.
It goes without saying you'll be missed and I every time I see a stripy blue top, a sailor or Jean Paul Gautier advert I will think of you!
All my love
Emma xxx
It is friday afternoon and I have just finished work. It is a beautiful day today so i decided to buy a can of coke and go to the park. I sat down by the band stand, where we always sit. I opened the coke and took my fags out of the pouch of my filthy overalls. I have sat there all my life. I stared at the winter walk way where it had become second nature to see Max trooting down towards me. Sunny days have been put in a bottle and thrown to sea, i guess there is a tiny hope that someone will find the bottle and come and help. He still can make me laugh when i remeber funny stories, however I can't make him laugh no matter how hard I try. I want to help him, but end up feeling useless and stupid. I find it hard to look at photos and then feel guilty for not wanting to look at him. My thoughts rarely drift from his side, and i feel stange to know that death must have brushed past me on its way to Max. I get angry that death could of left us alone and let us get on with our trouble free adventure. But guess what it turns out that life IS unfair and it doesn't have time for anyone, no matter how many good deeds you have done that day. If you can take anything from this mess, it is the realisation that you really do get only 'one shot'. And we have still got ours no matter how bleak it seems, we are still hanging on to its coat tales.
Lots of love Owen.
ps, can all the heads in
Hey,
I still remember the time we both ate terrible Hawaiian burgers in
Rest In Peace Max, you will be missed.
Hello,
Just wanted to let everyone know about a festival I'm helping to organise in
I'm letting everyone know because the dance tent is going to be officially called The Max O'Connell Dance Tent, and Owen and IC are going to be performing in it at 3pm, which will be wicked. Loads of people are coming up from
So if anyone's in
'A Noughtie Message' -
Saturday, April 29th,
Holly.
This is from Lisa Philson
I first met Max in my first year, he was in my film class and a stroke of luck (and the fact our surnames were beside one another!) put us in a little presentation group together. I was very pleased mostly because in seminars Max often filled those awkward, ‘avoid eye contact with the lecturer at all costs’ moments with some enlightened idea or a least another question to change the topic - he was gonna be useful! He opened our first ever conversation by informing me of his fear of northern Irish girls! It was a surprisingly good conversation starter and after about 20 minutes of supposedly discussing the ins and outs of ‘la haine’, I knew all about his travelling, his house parties, his mates and his varying musical tastes whilst I had told him about my life-so-far, romantic entanglements, my admiration for our lecturer Phil and my views on the state of Northern Irish politics! I even remember getting out a set of photos to give him visual representations of the people I was talking about! The next few meetings moved further and further away from the actual presentation and me and Max became mates. For the presentation itself I managed to secure the role of official handout giver-outer, while I watched Max and Rach try to compose themselves whilst giggling at the podium. Now, in reflection I can say that I have never been so glad that I neglected my work; if I’d taken it more seriously I may never have gotten to know him.
A few weeks later it emerged that Max and I were gonna be neighbours the following year, and it was during that year on Shortridge Terrace that I really got to know him. We had nights out, deep conversations about religion and travelling on the way home from uni, silly chats over a cuppa or dene’s deli. He’d become an integral part of my uni life and even my mates who were not so familiar with him felt his friendly magnetism. For the last few weeks I’ve been flooded with memories of him - I remember waving to him from my window whilst he casually strolled past in his mad max t-shirt, having a break from working in the OAC only to lie on the grass in the quadrangle for the rest of the afternoon, him informing me the day after a particularly messy St Paddy’s day that we had made a pact to marry and have Irish named kids, my constant questioning of how he actually knew by name 70% of the Newcastle student population!
I still can’t believe that I’m not gonna hear him say ‘leeesssaaa’ in the way only he did, that our numerous, silly plans for his return to the toon will never be fulfilled, that I can’t fill him in on the latest episode in the Lisa saga and hear about his latest exploits! But since reading all the tributes to him on the blog, I’ve been feeling lucky that I knew him, that he knew me, that I shared moments with this amazing person, that I know he enjoyed everything he did and his life was full. I adored Max in a way that doesn’t happen very often, and that is how he will remain with me.
Lisa
Dear Mr. Seamus,
I just wanted to say how much Max is loved by me even though I knew him for a very short time while at university. Im really sorry i hope you are keeping strong...below is my post.
Amal , Bahrain.
I met Max in fresher week we left dorms to go to sugar, which sucked! But I remember going back that night happy I met him, I remember telling him he was too friendly and outgoing whilst sober to be really sober ;p But that really was his personality, any time, or state, I ran into Max he smiled big and with arms wide open! He always had a funny story and brought the glimmers out in even the most random things! Always genuinely caring he spoke about Rosy and always listened to me complain about my love life and the lack thereof... When I think about many uni nights Max is in the centre of it, everybody loves him... his loss is shattering, as I collect the vivid pieces I have of him and wish that there could be so much more of what is so precious, I am so sad for his family and close friends I cant imagine your heartache, im so sorry Max is irreplaceable so I really can't believe he is missing from this world! Going through all the memories on this site I know Max will be remembered every day... month... year...
