He always made me smile

My first memory of Max is from Freshers' Week; asking me and Remi to teach him how to dance. I always thought that I'd met him before this point. Maybe I hadn't. Maybe it was just the magic of Max. Even though you'd just met him, you always had a feeling that you'd known him forever.

We did try to teach him a few new moves, but he'd always resort back to that elbow dance of his. So simple. So loveable. I remember how he'd always have a smile on his face dancing. Even when I'd laugh at him. Even when I'd have a go at him for bumping hips with me. Even when he'd try to pick me up, and I'd scream at him that I was too heavy. Even when I wouldn't want him near me because he was so sweaty from dancing so much. He'd always be smiling. And through it all, I'd be smiling too. I was always smiling when I was around Max.

It's such a strange feeling, knowing that I'll never see that dance again, or that grin again, or listen to him talk about some new girl he'd met.

I've been trying to think of my favourite memory of Max. There are so many. I'll always remember him talking about Rosy. About how The Coral song: Dreaming of You, was such an apt description of how he was feeling. Every time I hear that song, I think of him and smile. Every time I see a picture of Justin Timberlake I think of him saying 'Some people say I look like Justin Timberlake'. About how we all laughed. About how we all loved him for making us laugh. Every time I look at my keys, I'll think of him. I'll think of him buying a souvenir for Remi from New York in first year, and being touched that be bought one for me too because he didn't want me to feel left out. I love that key ring. A mini New York yellow cab. I think he'd be pleased to know that I still use it.

I look back at our friendship, and I wish that ' had more serious conversations with him. I wish I'd taken advantage of the few times he'd show his soft side. I wish I hadn't spent so much time rolling my eyes at him. I wish I'd realised that everything he did (whether I approved or not), he did because he was living life to the full. I wish I'd joined in with him more. I can't believe the opportunity to live life with him has been taken away from me. Taken away from us all.

He always thought I didn't take him seriously, but I did. I wish I'd told him how much he meant, and still means, to me. This is such a horrible thing to have happened. It makes living scary, knowing that our mate Max isn't going to be in our world anymore.

All my love,
D

Daisy and Max: Taken summer 2004. Jo's Birthday at World Head Quarters



Johnny, Max and Marcus: Taken in December 2002. Our first ever Arcane



Amy and Max: Taken October 2003, Max's Birthday party. The first of the legendary 25 Devonshire parties.



Eddie, Jo, Ella and Max: Taken June 2004. Groove Armada Love box festival.