From PeD in San Francisco

Back in the day, one of my favourite things to do on a first or second date, was to bring my latest future-ex-girlfriend to Queen's Park. At the time, I used it as a cunning ploy, or so I thought, to impress my unsuspecting bird with my sense of community, my love for football and my love for the outdoors. "We usually play here but in the summer they make us play behind the Band Stand". I'd reminisce about great football matches we'd had and point to the spot where they took place. More often than not, we'd bump into someone I knew and they'd take a break from the football to have a chat. Max met his share and would wonder, weeks later, why I’d dumped them so suddenly.

Anyway… I, too, remember the first time I met Max. Not surprisingly, it was in a football match in the south end of the park (I can point to the exact spot), in late Spring. Years later, over a pint at the Irish, when the subject came up over how long we'd all known each other, Max recited the first words I ever said to him. When we met, he had a habit of taking on half the opposing team only to lose the ball right at the end. My words were: "If you pass the ball, I'll pass it back and you'll score every time". He said that this jewel of advice had stuck with him over the years though, thankfully, for those of us who like to watch football wizardry, Max had many moments of forgetfulness.

Max's passing has made me think about more than a few things. Above all, that Max was the quintessential Queen's Parker. For years, a generation of die hard football fans were blind to issues that would otherwise have formed even the smallest of barriers (race, class, football teams, gender [remember Rachel Yankee?], football skills ..) because we just wanted to play together. Max seemed to live his entire life finding common ground rather than seeing differences. The huge turnout in this blog reflects this and I believe many of us will have looked in envy at that beautiful virtue.

What kind of person would I be had my house been 2 miles away? I daren't think about it.

Finally, I would like to thank all our parents, who, whether by sheer luck, or never-ending love and commitment (though probably a bit of both), have forged a community of good-natured, grounded individuals. We are truly fortunate and honoured. (Steve W. thanks for your words!)

Thank you so much. And thank you for Max. And thank you for so many other people that I can't list for fear of missing someone out.

I can't put to words how it burns that I can't make it tomorrow. My thoughts will be with all of you.

If you don't mind, I've attached an abridged version of a recent hurried email (minus expletives) to Dec.

Love you Max, you're in all of us.

Pedro.

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A few years ago (yikes at least 4-5 years ago, before he went up north) Max gave me a buzz to go to the Corrib for a drink. Back then we would hang out every now and then to catch up on things so it wasn’t unusual that we’d meet up.There was some drama going on at home with his sister and his folks so we were chatting about it over a couple of pints & stuff. We also spoke about how things were with his girlfriend (Rosy) and how they were going to put things on the backburner because they were going to be apart, but that they really liked each other. Just life stuff, right? But it was amazing how mature he was under those circumstances.

Anyway, so we had a couple of pints and as I was about to get up to get the next round he stopped me and said “Ped. I know. And it’s cool.” Of course, I let out a nervous laugh wondering what the **** I was going to say to that. I felt a mixture of embarrassment (that I didn’t have the guts that he did) and surprise but not nerves. I almost said “what you on about?” but knew (and so would he) that I’d only be insulting his intelligence. Besides, he’d just stuck his neck out for me. All I said was something like “I better get those pints then”. I got the pints and he told me how I shouldn’t be worried about telling people in the park etc.

I dunno why I’m telling you this. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really told anyone about it even though it was a really important moment for me. Or perhaps it was because it was a moment that made me realize that our connections now transcend much more than just football @ the park. I mean, that’s why we still talk right?

Max didn’t have to say anything, and we really don’t have to make an effort to hang out & catch up. But we do.

So for the record, if you ever need anything, say.

PeD

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